But, Like, Why Do They Always Salivate When I Ring This Bell?

Professor: How do you feel about presenting?
Student: Nervous. I don't like talking in front of people.
Professor: These aren't people, these are students!
Students: (silence)
Professor: That's not a nice thing to say. You can't believe I just said that, can you?

UMass
Amherst, Massachusetts

Overheard by: CR

Posted on May 14, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Feelings, Massachusetts, Questions, Students, Teachers

At Least 30% Of Him Is, Anyway.

Five-year-old: Is Michael Jackson real?
Teenage sister, exasperatedly: Yes! How many times do we have to have this conversation?!

Margate, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chris S.

Posted on May 14, 2009
About celebrities, Default, Family, Girls, Kids, New Jersey, Questions, Teens

65% Of Me Is!

Brunette: I'm like a total vegetarian. Except I like chicken, and beef. And sometimes I eat bacon with my breakfast.
Blonde: Are you for real?

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: Vastly Amused

Posted on May 13, 2009
Birds, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Girls, Questions, Utah

It Defines Me.

Hobo to hipster: Is a BlackBerry a cell phone?
Hipster: Yeah, but I don't have one.
Hobo: I like blackberry pie!

Los Angeles, California

Posted on May 12, 2009
California, Cell phones, Compare and contrast, Default, Fruit, Hipsters, Hobos, Questions

Okay, Partial Credit.

Chick: How can free will and divine preordination coexist?
Dude: Smack da shit out dat ho?

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on May 12, 2009
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Words

With a Little Cinnamon and Some Splenda. What?

Nursing student #1, about absent classmate: If she'd have kept her fucking mouth shut and not been a motherfucking snitch we wouldn't be in this mess!
Nursing student #2: Why'd she snitch on us?
Nursing student #1: I don't know, but she think she the best thing since apple sauce!
(long pause)
Nursing student #1: I really like applesauce!

Marian College
Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on May 12, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Indiana, Insults, Mouth, Nurses, Questions, Students

Ooo, Let's Get T-Shirts Saying That.

Sorority girl #1: What did he die from?
Sorority girl #2: Cancer.
Sorority girl #1: Gawd! Cancer sucks!

CVS
Charlottesville, Indiana

Posted on May 11, 2009
Death & dying, Default, Girls, Indiana, Maladies, Questions, Sorority types, Stores, Words

She's the Best Boss Ever

Ditzy female student #1: How cute is it that she can bend all the way over with her elbows on the floor?
Ditzy female student #2: I know! Do you think she'll teach us how to do it?
Ditzy female student #1: Yeah! And then we can get someone to take a photo!

Murdoch University
Perth
Australia

Posted on May 9, 2009
Australia, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Gadgets, Girls, Questions, Students, Weirdness

Guess Where

Guy #1: You walked back to your house naked last night?
Guy #2: Yeah, but I was wearing socks.

Arizona State University

Overheard by: Jayne

Posted on May 8, 2009
Arizona, Clothes, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Guys, Questions

…Aunt Brian Shops Here Before All Her Shows

Mother, digging through prom dresses on rack, to nine-year-old daughter: There's so much glitter here! Did you know that so many drag queens shop at Ross that they call it “cross dress for less”?
Nine-year-old, bored: I know…

Ross Dress for Less
El Cerrito, California

Overheard by: innocent bystander

Posted on May 7, 2009
California, Default, Fashion, Girls, Kids, Moms, Names, Questions, Stores, Women

Questions