Hipster: You're buying an Ethiopian? I did that once.
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Tickle Feet
Girl to friend: So, how many skirts do you know that are made for the figure of a man?
Priestley College
Warrington
England
Overheard by: RuncornianAsh
Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm… probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.
Classroom
Sydney
Australia
Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it’s still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don’t see any; I don’t have any spit.
Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Uses spit for lube
Patron #1: How are you tonight?
Patron #2: Well, I'm currently disappointed in humanity.
Bar
Columbus, Indiana
Overheard by: Projection1234
Young woman shouting to older gentleman: Why can't Dr Molar do his own wife?
Olive Garden
Indianapolis, Indiana
Guy #1: So what I'm not clear on is how the penis and vagina work.
Guy #2: Well, how are you doing on STDs?
Guy #1: I'm still a little unsure about some, but I have syphilis down pat!
Finger Lakes Community College
New York
Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.
Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan
Overheard by: Scott
Four-year-old girl looking at Michelangelo’s David: Do you see the penis?
Nanny: Yes.
Four-year-old girl: I like the penis! Do you like the penis?
Nanny, turning around and walking away: There’s no good way to answer this.
Florence
Italy
