Guy to girlfriend: My dick is aching for your vagina.
Girl: I missed you too.
Barista cafe
Mumbai
India
Overheard by: mehr
Guy to girlfriend: My dick is aching for your vagina.
Girl: I missed you too.
Barista cafe
Mumbai
India
Overheard by: mehr
Little girl to mom: Umbrellas are some of my dearest friends!
Chinese restaurant
St. Louis, Missouri
Girl to friends: I'm normal when I'm single, but it's like my vagina is a dick-powered crazy machine!
Tucson, Arizona
Overheard by: Herdy
Girl: Well, if he's okay with handicapped, he'll be okay with crazy.
El Paso, Texas
Girl on cell: Yeah, so I'm going to tell my mom that he asked me to marry him, and then he died. (pause) Yeah, she'll probably ask if I need anything, and that's when I'll tell her about the car. (pause) Yeah, I'll be heartbroken, blah, blah, blah… at least I'll get a new car out of the deal! (pause) He's a made-up boyfriend! She's not going to find out he didn't really die, because he never really existed!
San Marcos, California
Librarian at info desk: How are you today?
Gloomy guy: Not very well.
Librarian: Why not?
Guy: Oh, my girlfriend's being mean to me… Are you single?
Librarian, unfazed: No, I'm married.
West Lafayette, Indiana
Overheard by: Rachel S.
Tall Hispanic woman to one-legged Hispanic man in wheelchair: Nigga, I get with you, I have triplets–got that supersperm!
Miami, Florida
Overheard by: chuck
Woman on cell: I've been through many husbands, but the dog has been with me for 14 years! Men can be replaced but the dog stays!
Bellingham, Washington
Overheard by: sara
Grey-haired grandma to another: Of course, it was worse for him because she left to become a lesbian. (pause) And you can't help thinking of all that licking.
Norfolk Island
Overheard by: kk
College student: So first my girlfriend and I split, then I got accepted into the frat, and then I found god…I couldn't handle spring break after that weekend.
Georgetown University
Washington, DC
