…Without Being Swarmed by Seminarians

Australian tourist: God, it's so hot in here. I can't wait to get out of here and take these pants off.
Church security guard, overhearing: Yes… that is very difficult to do in a church.

Vatican City

Overheard by: LeBron

Posted on August 12, 2019
Clothes, Cops, Europe, Foreigners, Religion, Tourists, Weather, Wishes

Good Point —No Effect on Religious Beliefs

Professor: Now, if we did eliminate illness and achieved immortality there might be serious religious repercussions. Can anyone think of how this might affect religious beliefs?
Bimbette: Well, like, if Hitler were immortal, he would, like, go to jail for, like, a million years and then, like, chill out for eternity, you know?

Eternal Youth and Immortality Seminar
Lafayette College, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: knows that Hitler would still be dead because he SHOT himself

Posted on July 20, 2019
Bimbettes, Class, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Education, History, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Questions, Religion, Stupidity, Teachers

Yeah? Shalom, Baby

Black man, approaching black woman wrapped in garments with only her eyes visible: Salam Aleikum.
Woman: I'm not Muslim, muthafucka, I'm cold!

Harrisburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Michael

Posted on July 9, 2019
Default, Feelings, Guys, Insults, Names, Pennsylvania, Religion, Women

Religion Does Seem to Be the Opium Of the People

Tourist mom: I'm fascinated by religions. I always read about them. But I've been watching this four-hour documentary on the Mormons and I can't really get into it.
Daughter: Why not?
Tourist mom: Well, every time I watch it I fall asleep.

Temple Square
Salt Lake City, Utah

Posted on May 25, 2019
Default, Girls, Moms, Religion, Tourists, Utah

As Long As You Don’t Lie in the Same Bed Together, It’s All Good

Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?

Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself

Posted on April 26, 2019
Books, Guys, North Carolina, Offspring, Parenting, Questions, Religion, Restaurants, Violence

You Sure Those Were Judas's Last Words?

Professor: And he's like, “Jesus, I wish I was pagan!”

Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Posted on January 10, 2019
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Jesus, Religion, Teachers, Wishes

Now Tom Cruise Has It

White-haired 60-something lady on cell: I can't live there anymore. (pause) No, it's not that. She's trying to force her Scientology on me. (pause) Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, she's not a lesbian anymore. She joined Scientology to change her from being lesbian. (pause) They made her lesbian side go away.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana