Religion

Female suit #1: She's just sad and lonely.
Female suit #2: That's no excuse for Mormonism.

Santa Barbara, California

Boy eating lunch: I am without sin! That's why potatoes come down my chimney!

Dagenham
Essex
England

Overheard by: Anthony Mercer

Casual guy: It’s amazing how chummy they are now.
Guy in suit: Chummy? They’re like having weird gay-slash-Jewish sex.

Thornton School of Music, USC
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Yapplebee

Chick #1: Mike Dunleavy went to a Catholic school, and Troy Murphy went to a Jesuit school.
Chick #2: They're star-crossed lovers! One is a Catholic, the other a Jesuit!

Pepsi Center
Denver, Colorado

Tour guide: The vestal virgins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer virgins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dunno if that's any better.
Little old Japanese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.

Colosseum
Rome
Italy

Girl #1: Happy Easter! I love you!
Girl #2: Happy Easter! (pause) This is funny… We're both atheists.

Jersey City, New Jersey

Little boy (pointing at large crucifix in graveyard): What is that guy doing?
Babysitter: That's Jesus.
Little boy: But why is he bloody? Is he dead?
Babysitter: Yes.
Little boy: But Jesus is still alive, isn't he? Why would somebody kill Jesus? And why would they make him go up on that thing?
Babysitter: You know what? It's a complicated story and we'll talk about it later.
Little boy: Bloody Jesus is scary.

Mission Santa Barbara, California

College kid: Excuse me, what is the difference between these potato pancakes and a potato latka?
Grocery stocker: Um, I don’t know what a latka is, so I couldn’t tell you.
College kid: A Jewish potato pancake.
Grocery stocker: Well, those potato pancakes are German.
College kid: I wonder if a German Jew would eat them.

Sendik’s Grocery Store
Grafton, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Arthur

Teacher (about poetry assignment): Some of you did a good job and wrote some wonderful things. Some of you just did the assignment. Some of you haven’t even turned it in. Those people are going to hell.

TJHSST
Alexandria, Virginia

Girl in anthropology class: So… Islam says that men can marry four wives, but women can only marry one husband. Whatever.
Professor: Let's try to maintain some cultural relativism!

Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: nina