Religion

Teacher (about poetry assignment): Some of you did a good job and wrote some wonderful things. Some of you just did the assignment. Some of you haven’t even turned it in. Those people are going to hell.

TJHSST
Alexandria, Virginia

Girl in anthropology class: So… Islam says that men can marry four wives, but women can only marry one husband. Whatever.
Professor: Let's try to maintain some cultural relativism!

Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: nina

Boy #1: Dude, you know what the best time to get high would be? Right before temple.
Boy #2: No, dude, it's Yom Kippur. You'll be so hungry…

Private High School
New York, New York

Overheard by: so many things wrong with this

Woman: Shhhh, people are sleeping. Not everybody wants to hear about Mormon underpants.

Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Hip daughter: Mom, is that the same guy?
Hip mom: No.
Hip daughter: Then why do they sound the exact same?
Hip mom: Because they're Jewish.
Hip daughter: Really?
Hip mom: No.
Hip daughter (laughing): Oh my god! Mom! That's…
Hip mom: Don't quote me on Facebook.

Lincoln, Nebraska

Overheard by: robert taylor

Redneck girl: So do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes, that's part of our religion.
Redneck girl: No, I mean you. Do you worship cows?
Hindu boy: Yes! I do, my people do, it's our religion!
Redneck girl: So when you go to church, there's a cow there?
Hindu boy: No, we don't go to church.
Redneck girl: Have you ever gone cow-tipping?
Hindu boy: What's that?
Redneck girl: It's when you run up to a cow in the middle of the night and push it over and it goes “mooooooooo!” I tried to tip a horse once, too, but it just looked at me.

High School
North Carolina

Guy #1: Dude, like my whole body hurts.
Guy #2: Well, I told you not to hang out with those girls.
Guy #1: Yeah, but I haven't dated a religion major in a long time.

Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: dave

Loudmouthed breakfast patron: I’m not trying to be rude or anything, but what if you keep kosher and someone, like, brings a pig to your house? Like, what do you do with their pet pig?

Toast Two
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Paul

Tween boy: I'm going to make Buddha the theme of my Bar Mitzvah.
Uninterested yuppie mom: Mmhmmm.

TJ Maxx
Swampscott, Massachusetts

Overheard by: money well spent

Very short gay man: It's so hard being a vegetarian. My parents can't accept my sexuality or my religion… I'm living in a toilet!

Guernsey
England

Overheard by: Catie