Restaurants

Swedish tourist: We came here for the chicken, but will remember it for the toilets.

Swiss Chalet
Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Glad I didn't go downstairs…

Older lady customer: Are you Chris?
Manager guy: No, I'm Mike.
Older lady customer: Are you Carl?
Manager guy: No, I'm still Mike.

Perkins Restaurant
Westfall, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Veronica @ http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Little boy: Today is the perfect day for a yellow balloon.

Restaurant
Vancouver
Canadia

Overweight mom with toddler: Then he found out he was a hermaphrodite, a boy cursed with the body of a woman. He grew up never knowing…never knowing a thing.
Overweight friend: Wouldn't ya know?

Seattle's Best Coffee
Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: All You Can Eat

Teen girl #1: Okay, okay, look at that girl over there.
Teen girl #2: Which one?
Teen girl #1: The one with the short skirt, revealing halter top, and cowboy boots–what do you think of her?
Teen girl #2: I don't know what you're asking.
Teen girl #3: What do you think she does for a living?
Teen girl #2: I don't know, she could be an accountant.

Steak 'n Shake
Springfield, Missouri

Guy to friend: No, man, I mean…she's not a *whore* whore, just a whore.

Outside City Bistro
Hoboken, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chris Maimone

Lunching law firm girl #1: Oh god, when it comes to my track record… Seriously, I've dated two vampires and a guy who thought he was Jim Morrison reincarnated.
Lunching law firm girl #2: That's ridiculous. (pause) My junior year high school English teacher was Jim Morrison reincarnated. God!

Quizno's
Tucson, Arizona

Waitress: Can I get you something to drink?
Boyfriend: Uh yeah, a Sprite please.
Waitress: Is 7 Up okay?
Boyfriend: Uh…sure.
Waitress: And for you?
Girlfriend: Can I get a Sprite?

New Market
Canadia

Overheard by: meggler

Woman (sarcastically): I'm sorry, I'm such a bitch.
Man: Hmm…
Woman: You think I'm a bitch, don't you?
Man: I didn't say that.
Woman: You didn't disagree with me.
Man: You know yourself better than I do.
Woman: I can't believe you called me a bitch.
Man: I didn't call you a bitch, you called yourself a bitch.
Woman: But you didn't tell me I'm not a bitch.
Man: Because you're acting like a bitch.
Woman: See? You think I'm a bitch!
Man: I said you were acting like a bitch.
Woman: Whats the difference?
Man: Dustin Hoffman acted like a retard, but it doesn't mean he is one.
Woman: I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but you're a dick for thinking I'm a bitch.
Man: Do you mean I'm acting like a dick or I am a dick?
Woman: Fuck you! (storms out)
Man: Too easy. Caramel Macchiato please!

Starbucks
Westminster, Colorado

Cracked out old lady: Yeah, I think it's time for me to get a new dildo.
Cracked out old guy: Oh, really? Why?
Cracked out old lady: I don't know… I'm not getting the same vibrations anymore. You should tell your wife to get one.
Cracked out old guy: Nahh, I don't think she'd enjoy it…
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, true, true.

McDonald's
Surrey, BC
Canadia