Swedish tourist: We came here for the chicken, but will remember it for the toilets.
Swiss Chalet
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Glad I didn't go downstairs…
Swedish tourist: We came here for the chicken, but will remember it for the toilets.
Swiss Chalet
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Glad I didn't go downstairs…
Older lady customer: Are you Chris?
Manager guy: No, I'm Mike.
Older lady customer: Are you Carl?
Manager guy: No, I'm still Mike.
Perkins Restaurant
Westfall, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Veronica @ http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/
Little boy: Today is the perfect day for a yellow balloon.
Restaurant
Vancouver
Canadia
Overweight mom with toddler: Then he found out he was a hermaphrodite, a boy cursed with the body of a woman. He grew up never knowing…never knowing a thing.
Overweight friend: Wouldn't ya know?
Seattle's Best Coffee
Phoenix, Arizona
Overheard by: All You Can Eat
Teen girl #1: Okay, okay, look at that girl over there.
Teen girl #2: Which one?
Teen girl #1: The one with the short skirt, revealing halter top, and cowboy boots–what do you think of her?
Teen girl #2: I don't know what you're asking.
Teen girl #3: What do you think she does for a living?
Teen girl #2: I don't know, she could be an accountant.
Steak 'n Shake
Springfield, Missouri
Guy to friend: No, man, I mean…she's not a *whore* whore, just a whore.
Outside City Bistro
Hoboken, New Jersey
Overheard by: Chris Maimone
Lunching law firm girl #1: Oh god, when it comes to my track record… Seriously, I've dated two vampires and a guy who thought he was Jim Morrison reincarnated.
Lunching law firm girl #2: That's ridiculous. (pause) My junior year high school English teacher was Jim Morrison reincarnated. God!
Quizno's
Tucson, Arizona
Waitress: Can I get you something to drink?
Boyfriend: Uh yeah, a Sprite please.
Waitress: Is 7 Up okay?
Boyfriend: Uh…sure.
Waitress: And for you?
Girlfriend: Can I get a Sprite?
New Market
Canadia
Overheard by: meggler
Woman (sarcastically): I'm sorry, I'm such a bitch.
Man: Hmm…
Woman: You think I'm a bitch, don't you?
Man: I didn't say that.
Woman: You didn't disagree with me.
Man: You know yourself better than I do.
Woman: I can't believe you called me a bitch.
Man: I didn't call you a bitch, you called yourself a bitch.
Woman: But you didn't tell me I'm not a bitch.
Man: Because you're acting like a bitch.
Woman: See? You think I'm a bitch!
Man: I said you were acting like a bitch.
Woman: Whats the difference?
Man: Dustin Hoffman acted like a retard, but it doesn't mean he is one.
Woman: I don't know what that's supposed to mean, but you're a dick for thinking I'm a bitch.
Man: Do you mean I'm acting like a dick or I am a dick?
Woman: Fuck you! (storms out)
Man: Too easy. Caramel Macchiato please!
Starbucks
Westminster, Colorado
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, I think it's time for me to get a new dildo.
Cracked out old guy: Oh, really? Why?
Cracked out old lady: I don't know… I'm not getting the same vibrations anymore. You should tell your wife to get one.
Cracked out old guy: Nahh, I don't think she'd enjoy it…
Cracked out old lady: Yeah, true, true.
McDonald's
Surrey, BC
Canadia