San Francisco

Man to random cute chick: When's your birthday?
Cute chick: Um, September 27th.
Man: That's Ani DiFranco's birthday!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McNasty

Gay guy, gesturing at transvestite performing onstage: I don't want to see any more boobs. Show me the dicks!
Gay friends, approving: We want dicks!

DNA Lounge
San Francisco, California

Young Asian cop easing old Asian man out of police car: My first day on the beat and already I'm finding out about and busting illegal Mahjong parlors! I didn't know they existed!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McF

Gay dude: No, they're just too greasy for me.
Fag hag: Says the Mexican…
Gay dude: Excuse me? I'm black by insertion.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: i don't like water

Late-20s blonde yuppie: I love him, and I think he loves me.
Late-20s brunette yuppie: That’s cool.
Late-20s blonde yuppie: Yeah, I think his name’s Paul or John or something.

North Beach
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: i love love

Boy #1: I shot my friend in the foot once.
Boy #2: What! How?
Boy #1: Well, we were really high in the woods, and my friend was wearing bunny slippers. He stuck his foot out of a bush and I thought it was a real rabbit… so I shot it!
Boy #2: What the fuck?!

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: McKenzie

Woman drying her hands, nonchalantly, to woman ball-gagged and tied to a toilet: “Oh, you changed your hair. It looks pretty.”

Women’s Bathroom, Bondage-a-GoGo
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Ladle

Father to squirmy two-year-old looking out bus window: No, honey, that’s a church. We can’t go there — they’ll give you a lobotomy.

San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Rebekah

Woman in red tutu: I am in pain. And hungover. And starting to drink again. In a red tutu, of course.

Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Poogins

Suit #1: The ladies here really have it better than the guys.
Suit #2: Like how?
Suit #1: Like the women’s restroom — they’ve got nice stuff in there. They’ve got flowers and hand lotion and, like, free tampons! Why don’t the guys get that?!

San Francisco, California