Meathead #1: So, I think she's fuckin' some other dude…
Meathead #2: Yeah…but dude, just because she's fuckin' him doesn't mean she can't fuck you too.
Gym
USC, California
Meathead #1: So, I think she's fuckin' some other dude…
Meathead #2: Yeah…but dude, just because she's fuckin' him doesn't mean she can't fuck you too.
Gym
USC, California
Hot chick: I was too tired for a layover in Denver! It’s not like you’d let me nap — we’d just end up fucking in the airport bathroom for five hours. Wait! If Denver’s the Mile High City, do you think bathroom sex can count us into the Mile High Club? Oh my god, I am changing my flight — Cleveland can wait. Cock is so much more important.
Minneapolis-St.Paul International Airport
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: Wishing I was the dude in Denver
Mom: You know, I necked in that funeral home.
Daughter: Mom!
Mom: Oh, honey, it wasn't with a corpse or anything. It was a preacher's son!
West Virginia
Girl #1: I mean, there are those people who pretend to be so moral, and then you find out they're, like, fucking a giraffe.
Girl #2, laughing: Ew! That's disgusting.
Girl #3: Seriously, though, hypocrites suck.
Girl #2: But what would that feel like?
Girl #1: What, being a hypocrite?
Girl #2: No… You know… The giraffe.
Girl #3: Ew… Uhm, horrible?
Girl #2: Yeah, you're right.
(five minutes later, in the middle of another topic)
Girl #2: But really, I think it would depend on how old it was.
Girl #1: What?
Girl #2: The giraffe.
Girl #1: Are you still thinking about fucking a giraffe?!?
Girl #3: We need to make sure she doesn't go to the zoo. That can only end badly.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: that sounds wholly unpleasant
Professor, discussing sperm's passage to egg: “Come and chase me!” That's what the woman says.
Saint Peter's College
New Jersey
20-something guy: I had a threesome once with two lesbians. They were eating each other's pussies out. It was fun.
20-something girl: You liked it?
20-something guy: I didn't say I liked it. I said it was fun.
Norman, Oklahoma
Girl: Did you see American Pie last night?
Guy: American Pie? But that's a dirty movie, I thought you were frigid.
Girl: I am frigid but I still watch tv.
Kerry Foods
Ireland
Woman #1 in bathroom stall: You should have an orgy!
Woman #2 in next bathroom stall: I know, that's what I said!
Bathroom, Bar
Olympia, Washington
Overheard by: H
Son: Dad, how do people have sex with dogs?
Father, philosophical: Same reason people have sex with sheep… Or horses.
Son: Well, how do dogs get pregnant, then?
Father, quickly: Humans can’t get dogs pregnant.
Son: But how do the dogs get pregnant from having sex in the ass?
Father, worried: Nobody can get pregnant from anal sex!
Son: Yeah! Doggy-style!
Father, nervous: Bitches get done in the vagina, which you can do from the back. Believe me, it’s back there if you look for it. Dogs never do anal sex — only people do that.
Son: Hmmm…
Bay area, California
Overheard by: I don’t wanna look that hard
