Sexuality

Tall blonde dude: If only she wasn't a butch lesbian, we would be so perfect for each other.
Petite blonde: You need to start thinking outside of those boundaries.

Juniata College
Huntingdon, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: I agree

Guy: Nothing, nothing turns me on more than Jurassic Park-themed role play.

Queen's University
Kingston, Canadia

Overheard by: Kat

Anatomy professor, turning up lights: Wake up, it's the male reproductive system! How many times have you heard that before? (class laughter) Hopefully not many times before.

UNC
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Hot black chick: I don't know why you're so surprised… It's the same way I'd nail Lucy Liu and alt-world Neil Patrick Harris.
Nerdy friend: Alt-world Neil Patrick Harris?
Hot black chick: You know, where he's straight and really into black chicks.
Nerdy friend: Baffling.

New Haven, Connecticut

Girl walking with two friends: God, you guys suck so bad! But, whatever…it means four whole penises for me. Yay!

Livermore, California

Prospective student's mother: I hear there are a lot of lesbians on this campus.
Student tour guide: Well, it isn't like they jump out of the bushes and convert you or anything.

College, Colorado

American dude: Approximately 90% of the wheat bread in the world is consumed by homosexuals.

Outdoor Cafe
Amsterdam
Netherlands

Overheard by: Ladle

Lesbian: They think that just because I like girls, I think with my penis. It's rubber!

Sydney
Australia

Girl in statistics class: She told me, “you're gay.” How can I be gay? I had four–no, five and a half–servings of dick this morning.

Saint Peter's College
Jersey City, New Jersey

Suit #1, very seriously: And she was totally fixated on Martha. So I said to Martha, who swings both ways, you know, I said: “this girl is in serious need of some fanny,” but the trouble is, she's found god.
Suit #2: The worst coitus interruptus in the world! That Martha's a complete nutjob, though.

Bookstore
Liverpool
England