Being a Contestant on The Price Is Right? Really?

Morbidly obese man: It’s like when you go dumpster-diving and find a whole bedroom set.

Wal-Mart
Gainesville, Florida

Overheard by: Andrea

Posted on August 14, 2020
Compare and contrast, Fat people, Florida, Guys, Happiness, Stores, Weirdness

Plastic Shoes with Holes in the Tops Make Much More Sense.

Girl #1, sifting through shirts on table: Oh my god, these v-necks are so freaking cute.
Girl #2: Yeah…if this one didn't have sharks on it. If there's one thing I hate is sharks. Who puts sharks on shirts nowadays, anyway?

Urban Outfitters
San Francisco, California

Posted on July 21, 2020
Animals, Clothes, Default, Feelings, Girls, Questions, San Francisco, Stores

They're Right Next the Megavitamins, Which Also Don't Work

Guy: I'm not going to stop and ask someone, “excuse me, where are your ray guns?”

CVS
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ZB

Posted on April 23, 2020
Default, Games, Guys, Pennsylvania, Questions, Stores, Weirdness, Zombies

Once He Walks Through JoAnn's Door, a Man Starts to Die

Girlfriend, holding up scrapbook thing: Do you like this?
Boyfriend: Yeah, it's nice.
Girlfriend: “It's nice,” because it's nice, or “it's nice,” so we can get the fuck out of here?

JoAnn Fabrics and Crafts
Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: baker98391

Posted on April 19, 2020
Compliments, Couples, Default, Girls, Guys, Offers and requests, Questions, Stores, Washington, Words

So Maybe She Needed Out-of-This-World Sex

Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She hasn’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five seconds out of your day to see how I’m doing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.

Barnes & Noble
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Hobo

Posted on April 7, 2020
California, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Feelings, Geography, Gripes, Guys, Insults, On the phone, Sex, Stores, Words

Chances Are, Your Junk's Not Going Anywhere 'til Puberty, Kiddo

Little boy, grabbing his crotch and jumping up and down: Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha!

Target
New Jersey

Overheard by: Jo

Posted on April 4, 2020
Default, Guys, Kids, New Jersey, Stores, Weirdness, Words

Hardly Worse Than Getting Dick-Poked Before Birth

[husband and wife are pushing stroller through the mall. Suddenly another man rushes up and picks the husband up, twirling him around while everyone cracks up]Man, looking over at child: Wow, that would be a really awkward first memory!

Spotsylvania Towne Centre
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Overheard by: That Girl In The Kiosk

Posted on March 31, 2020
Family ties, Feelings, Stores, Virginia, Weirdness

This Season’s Most Unlikely Love Story

Girl, looking at video games: If I had a sword that pimp, I would just kill people all day and run around.
Boy following her: Girl, if you had a sword that pimp I would stop being gay and make you stop to make love to me.
Girl, looking appalled: I’d be busy killing people, though.
Boy, matter-of-factly: Well… I’d make you stop every thirteen kills.

Random Walmart
Boise, Idaho

Overheard by: Bunnee