Ask a Monumentally-Retarded Question…

College student: Where do babies come from?
Professor: Well, one of mine came from a test tube, one came from China, and two of them came from a crazy woman. Any more questions?

UMW
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Posted on April 17, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Family ties, Geography, Questions, Students, Teachers, Virginia

That Pretty Much Sums Up My Whole Spring Break

College girl: So, I was giving this guy a blowjob and a guy with a water gun walked by…

University of Evansville, Indiana

Posted on April 16, 2009
BJs, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Indiana, Students, Toys, Weirdness

But She Just Wanted to Take My Lunch Order

Male student: I mean, I thought she wanted me to cum on her tummy!

Rutgers University
New Jersey

Overheard by: Alice Haefeli

Posted on April 14, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Cum, Default, Guys, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Stomach, Students

It Was the Practical Joke Of a Lifetime

Year 8 student #1: So basically, if you stick your fingers up there, take them out and lick them, it tastes like strawberries!
Year 8 student #2: Cooooool!

Perth Modern School
Western Australia
Australia

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on April 13, 2009
Australia, Body parts, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Kids, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students

My Gospel: In the Beginning Was the Command Line

Male high school student, nonchalantly: I got a new phone; this one can take videos and stuff. It's pretty cool.
School bus driver, in hushed, dramatic tone: Technology is god on earth.

School Bus
Southern California

Posted on April 13, 2009
Bus, Bus drivers, California, Cell phones, Default, God, Guys, Students, Technology

It Could Be Like Cooked Meat, For Instance

Goober: I wish the whole world was edible!
Pseudo-metalhead: Dude, then everything would be, like, sticky and gross.
Goober: Well, that's assuming everything would be like candy. It wouldn't have to be sticky and gross.
Professor: I'm gonna jump in here before it gets any weirder.

Bard College
New York

Overheard by: why i put up with philosophy

Posted on April 12, 2009
Candy, Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, New York, Students, Teachers, Weirdness, Wishes

…or at Least It

Girl, discussing the penis of Jon from Watchmen: I mean, I heard from someone that they actually made it smaller, so guys wouldn't feel embarrassed when they saw it on screen.
TA: Actually, they enhanced it.
Girl: What? Damn it, I wanted to marry him…

Whittier College
Whittier, California

Overheard by: Sam. the blind