Students

Middle schooler: There's a gay singer in my bra! There's a gay singer in my bra!

Muirlands Middle
La Jolla, California

Dumb girl: Oh, I love The Flintstones. How do you say “yaba-daba-do” in Portuguese?
Portuguese stud: Yaba-daba-doooooo!
Dumb girl: God, that's awesome! I love Portuguese!

Pasadena, California

Exasperated, flustered girl: Sir! Alice* just fell over, I think she's seriously hurt.
Teacher: What? She has my keys!

Marian College
Melbourne
Australia

(Christian brother professor is chewing on the ice of his drink after lunch)
Student: Hey brother, you know what chewing ice is supposed to signify?
Brother: Yeah…sexual frustration.
Student (chuckling): Yeah.
Brother (shrugging): Occupational hazard.

LaSalle University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Well D'uh

Student, showing off his art project: On a scale of one to ten, with one being the lowest and ten being the highest, I was pretty happy with the way it turned out.

Madison, South Dakota

Wild-haired diner outside restaurant (seriously): If I don't get tenure next year, I don't know what I'll do. I'll have to … I don't know … I'll have to just blog about it.

Bloomsbury, London
England

Random high school kid (during summer school): Shoes are like hats for your feet!

Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology
Alexandria, Virginia

(two 6th-grade boys are sitting on the bus playing with their phones)
Boy #1: Hey, you know “saxophone” sounds a lot like “sexy-phone”!
Boy #2: Haha! Then for short you could call it “the sex”!
Boy #1: (laughs)
Boy #2: It would be like, “Hey, do you know how to play the sex?”
Boy #1: Heh-heh… Yeah, its a very complicated one.
Boy #2: Ew… That's gross.
Boy #1: Yeah, you know where you learn how to do it?
Boy #2: Where?
Boy #1: In college.
Boy #2: No way! I thought we learned everything in 5th grade.
Boy #1: Yeah…but I mean this time they tell you where to stick it in.
Boy #2: Ohhh…

School Bus
Maryland

Overheard by: Sam

Male student: I just… can't control my erections.

Library, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington

(math test is interrupted by a loud construction drill in the next room).
Student: Oh my god, I can't take this test anymore! Can you tell them to stop, please?!
Teacher: Heh… At least there aren't bullets flying over your head.

Concord High School
California

Overheard by: When I was in Vietnam