I Only Have Room in My Heart for Bacon

Hipster in “Vatican Chainsaw Massacre” t-shirt: And the thing is, dude, I just… (sighs) …I just don't really care about waffles, you know?

Queen Street West
Toronto
Canadia

Posted on September 29, 2009
Canadia, Food, Hipsters, Stupidity

The Best Part Of Our Lives Happens Between Our Ears

Teenage girl, talking about singer at concert: It was like Star Wars, except we weren't fighting with lightsabers and my hand didn't get cut off. Oh, and he was onstage and couldn't see me.

Rumson, New Jersey

Posted on September 27, 2009
Compare and contrast, Hands, Movies, Music, New Jersey, Stupidity, Teens, Violence

You Taking Evisceration and Dismemberment Next Term?

Girl #1, about classes she's taking: Oh, yeah, and then there's Murder and Genocide.
Girl #2: That sounds awesome!
Girl #1: I know, right?

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/05/im-getting-my-masters-degree-in-mayhem.html

Overheard by: Ian

Posted on September 19, 2009
Eavesdrop DC, Education, Girls, Murder, Stupidity, Violence

Jesus Wept.

5th grade girl: And he says to me, “you are so stupid,” and I say to him, “you are more stupid than me.” Then he says “nuh-uh, you more stupider than anybody.” And I'm said, “whatever, stupid!”

Tennessee

Overheard by: beth

Posted on September 18, 2009
Compare and contrast, Insults, Students, Stupidity, Tennessee

Your Editors Are on Irony Overload

Wangsta on cell: Dude, how the hell am I supposed to carry a 14-inch Mickey Mouse piñata?
(short pause) Well, I guess I could just stuff it in my messenger bag.

University
San Francisco, California

Posted on September 18, 2009
Colleges & Universities, On the phone, Questions, San Francisco, Stupidity, Thugs, Toys

And They Love Drinking Out Of Coke Bottles

Mother to young son: The sign says that polar bears are carnivores. That means they eat mostly plants, but will eat meat when they can find it.

Henry Vilas Zoo
Madison, Wisconsin

Overheard by: weeping for the future

Posted on September 17, 2009
Animals, Diet & weight, Food, Kids, Moms, Stupidity, Wisconsin, Words

If You Don't Want to Go to Grandma's, Just Say So.

Mom: I'll shoot you, then you'll shoot me, and we won't have to go anywhere.
Daughter: Mom…?
Mom: What? I'm just saying. If we shot each other we couldn't go anywhere, anyways.

Dressing Room in Mall
Pennsylvania

Posted on September 9, 2009
Family, Girls, Malls, Moms, Murder, Parenting, Pennsylvania, Philosophy, Stupidity

The Girls Next Door Workout Video It Is, Then.

Teenage girl: We can't rent anything with class.

Blockbuster
Orlando, Florida

Posted on September 9, 2009
Florida, Movies, Stores, Stupidity, Teens

…Right Next to Our TA

Communications professor: There are no stupid questions. If you have a question, that means you don't understand something. If you don't ask the question you will be behind for the day, for the week, semester, and the rest of your life. You will find yourself sucking cheap wine out of a paper bag and sleeping on a grate.

Washington State University
Pullman, Washington

Posted on September 6, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Education, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers, Washington

For Whom, Exactly?

High school teacher: So they employed guerrilla warfare.
Chick: Wait, seriously? They sent gorillas out into the jungle? Wouldn't that be dangerous?

Vienna, Virginia

Posted on September 5, 2009
Animals, Chicks, Idiots, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Virginia, Words

Stupidity