Let Me Just Open Up My Briefcase

Professor to clapping students: You know what makes that funnier? I just took a shit.

Binghamton University
Binghamton, New York

Overheard by: ThirstyEar2

Posted on December 10, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Default, Happiness, New York, Poop, Questions, Teachers

Um, Why Does Your Sippy Cup Smell Like Martini?

Two-year-old, holding plastic dinosaur up to ear: Uh-huh, mommy, it's been a really hard day.
Teacher: It's been a hard day, huh?
Two-year-old: Excuse me, I'm on the phone!

Preschool
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on December 8, 2015
Colorado, Education, Kids, Teachers, Weirdness

And Cock-Stopping’s an Essential Part of the Smith Charter

Chemistry professor, demonstrating suction filtration: … And you have to stop the cock before you turn on the water, or it will just [frantic hand motion] come all over your face.

Smith College
Northampton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: amused non-major

Posted on December 8, 2015
Advice, Animals, Massachusetts, Teachers, Words

And It’s Important to Know About Paula Abdul’s Career Trajectory

Student: If none of this is going to be on the exam, why are we devoting a class to it?
Professor: Because I find it interesting, and you have to listen to me.

Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on December 6, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Education, Offers and requests, Questions, Students, Teachers

Hamlet Woulda Loved Resident Evil

English teacher, reading Hamlet: “To die, to sleep; To sleep: perchance to dream: ay, there's the rub; For in that sleep of death what dreams may come…” Alright class, we'll pick it up from there on Monday.
Frat boy #1: What the fuck was that about?
Frat boy #2: I don't know, man. Let's go kill some zombies.

Gettysburg College
Gettysburg, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Alyssa

Posted on November 27, 2015
Books, Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Education, Frat boy types, Murder, Pennsylvania, Questions, Stupidity, Teachers, Zombies

…for Your Final Project.

Spanish professor: Fuck Spanish.

Indiana University

Overheard by: Mierdita

Posted on November 16, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Indiana, Sex, Teachers, Weirdness, Words

Ha Ha, Dude Watches Oprah!

Girl: My history teacher says women are more evolved than men.
Biology teacher: And what evidence does she base this on?
Guy: Oprah?

La Follette High
Madison, Wisconsin

Overheard by: Tangent

Posted on November 9, 2015
About celebrities, Compare and contrast, Education, Gender issues, Girls, Guys, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Science, Students, Teachers, Wisconsin

Class: Ooooo…

Professor: So Hamlet basically just called Claudius a mother-copulator. See, I can say that. Mother-copulator.

Memorial University
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: Mel

Posted on November 8, 2015
Canadia, Colleges & Universities, Default, Family ties, Sexuality, Teachers, Words

…Ever Since She Became a Character on Laguna Beach

Latin professor: Can anyone use a Latin interjection in a sentence?
Student: Lo! Look at that angel!
Latin professor: Yes, that is a very common interjection.

University of Denver, Colorado

Posted on November 6, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Education, Language barrier, Students, Teachers, Words

It's Implied by the First Three

Teacher: What is life really about?
Student #1: Cars!
Student #2: Love!
Student #3: Money!
Teacher: Why hasn't anyone said “sex” yet?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Irot

Posted on November 4, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Philosophy, Questions, Sex, Students, Teachers, Texas

Teachers