Astronomy teacher, about weather inhibiting lunar eclipse viewing: Well, NASA’s here, so Houston’s still cool.
Student #1: Yeah, but not cool enough to have an H&M…
Student #2: Yeah, I know!
Student #1: This really bothers me…
High school
Houston, Texas
Female English professor on the first day of class: So tell me as much about me as you can by my appearance. What kind of person do you think I am?
Student: I think you were probably a wild teenager. You've got a tattoo and a tongue piercing.
Female English professor (chuckling): I've got more tattoos and piercings than you care to know about.
Community College
Elizabethtown, Kentucky
Overheard by: Chelsea
College professor: Are you mocking my forest? My forest could kick your forest's butt any day. Bring your forest on!
(later)
College professor: I can see my forest from the window in my office. Do you have an office you can see your forest from?
Keuka College
New York
Overheard by: Rachel Bz.
Student to another: You're an asshole!
Science teacher: If you're going to say that, you should use the proper term, which is “anus.”
High School
Auckland
New Zealand
Student teacher: All right, guys, let's try that again. But this time with 30 to 40% less child death.
Clarksville, Maryland
Little girl: I don't want to go to heaven. I want to go to Texas.
Teacher: How about you go to heaven after you go to Texas?
Little girl: Nah. I just wanna go to Texas.
Vacation Bible School
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Not from here
Science professor: So, the flower has this thing in it that looks exactly like a female wasp, and it smells like a female wasp. So, the male wasp comes up and tries to mate with it — tries to copulate with it… I had a roommate like that once.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Black professor to black student: So I hold you to a different standard than the white students. (to white student) Except for you. Because you're from Michigan.
www.overheardatyale.com
Overheard by: Overheard at Yale
Indian professor with thick accent: Okay class. If I flip this coin 50 times, what is the probability that I get head?
Dude in the back: Man, I could flip a coin 100 times and I'm still not gettin' head.
(class bursts into hysterical laughter)
Indian professor: What? What did I say?
Statistics Class, George Washington University
Washington, DC
