Conductor: Ladies and gentlemen, we are normally a six-car train. Today they gave us four cars. I cried, I begged, but to no avail. (10 minutes later) Next stop, Secaucus! Hang on, we're gonna make it!
Transit Train
New Jersey
Overheard by: twoferrets
Suit on the Taipei subway: After I went home that day, I kept thinking about hemorrhoids.
http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_06_01_archive.html#8096816716191692834
Overheard by: Yugan
Father: Honey, you can’t cry on the train. The conductor will kick us off.
Young daughter, crying: Can I cry on the bus?
Father, after thoughtful pause: Sure, you can cry on the bus.
MBTA Green Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Joe
Late 20s drone in front of train operator’s door: Excuse me, can you move forward? The operator said I’m blocking the window.
Late 40s suit: No, you move forward. This is my spot.
Late 20s drone: We’re both blocking the window, and I can’t move unless you do.
Late 40s suit: I’m not moving.
Late 20s drone, groaning: You’re an ass.
Late 40s suit: No, you’re an ass.
Late 20s drone, pushing past: Oh, fuck you.
Late 40s suit, mocking: Oh, fuck you.
Late 20s drone: Good luck in third grade.
BART train, Bay Point – Daly City line
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: baby boomers must die
Tube train announcer: We're just waiting for a platform to come free at the next station. Thank you for your patience.
Small boy, thoughtfully: They don't *know* that we're being patient. We could all be banging on the windows and screaming.
Tube
London
England
Overheard by: Matt W
Little girl, in Arabic, as she sits in the train: Smells like cotton candy!
Mother, in French: Yeah, you're right, it smells like cotton candy. (to grandmother) Don't you think it smells like cotton candy?
Young black woman, sitting in the next row, smiling: It's me. It's my perfume.
Mother: Really?! What is it?
Young black woman: Vanilla and cotton candy.
Mother: Really? My girl told me it smells like the amusement park. At first I thought it was the cleaning product they used to wash the train floor. (pause) It smells really good.
C Train
Paris
France
Overheard by: BBM Tm
30-something suit: He was like… The Jesus of bad news.
Train Station
Fairfield, Connecticut
Drunk dude to girl: You will get absolutely no penis in your life! None!
Transit Train
New Jersey
Overheard by: Russ
College kid #1: You know what would be tight? If we got some of those plastic containers from Ikea.
College kid #2: Oh yeah, that shit's stackable, yo.
Subway
Boston, Massachusetts
Old man on subway to perfect stranger: So I give this woman three eggs to put in her pocket. You know, crack. And, can you hold this?
(young woman holds coffee for him)
Old man: So I've got these eggs…
Subway
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
