Now Would You Mind Shutting Up and Blowing Me?

Guy: I don't have a favorite person. (pause, then begrudgingly) Well, I guess my favorite person is her… (points at girlfriend)
Girlfriend, unenthusiastically: Well, gee.

Park Tavern
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on July 16, 2019
Compliments, Couples, New Jersey, Relationships, Vagina

The Type Of Question That Should Be on the SATs

Teenage boy to school friend: Dude, why would you buy a pocket vagina and not use it?

High School
Hartford, Connecticut

Overheard by: Murray

Posted on May 23, 2019
Connecticut, Friends, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Shopping, Teens, Toys, Vagina

I'm Not Sure I've Heard This Version Of “Goldilocks and the Three Bears”

Teenage boy: She said his bazooka was too big for her funhole.

High School
North Carolina

Overheard by: aWkWaRd

Posted on March 31, 2019
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, North Carolina, Penis, Sex, Teens, Vagina

And Don’t Even Get Me Started on This Banana Lamp

[Two 18-year-old girls are browsing a table full of random items for sale at a Christian thrift store at a local church.]Girl #1: This candle holder would probably feel great inside my pussy.
Girl #2, barely startled: Haha. Yeah.
Girl #1: Ooh, this shirt is nice!

Gothenburg
Sweden

Overheard by: Donny Boots

Posted on March 22, 2019
Clothes, Etiquette, Girls, Masturbation, Sensory experiences, Stores, Sweden, Toys, Vagina

If You’ll Refer to This Pie Chart…

Frat boy: All of my plans involve either money or pussy.

Starbucks, E Street
http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/02/dont-you-mean-money-for-pussy.html

Posted on December 14, 2018
Eavesdrop DC, Frat boy types, Vagina, Washington, DC

In Some Cultures, That’s the Highest Compliment

Drunk girl yelling to bald guy from car window: You left your toupee in my vagina!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Paige & Liz

Posted on December 5, 2018
Drunks, Girls, Hair, Insults, Vagina, Washington

To Errol Is Human. My Dick: Divine.

Greek girlfriend: She misses you baby.
English boyfriend: Hm?
Greek girlfriend: She misses you.
English boyfriend: Who misses me?
Greek girlfriend: Helena.
English boyfriend: Who's Helena?
Greek girlfriend: My vagina, baby.
Indian guy at table: You named your snatch Helena?! Really? You named your vagina?
Greek girlfriend: Sure, don't you have a name for your dick?
Indian guy and English boyfriend, at same time: No.
Greek girlfriend: I've always thought of your dick as being called Errol, baby.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Posted on November 7, 2018
Couples, Feelings, Names, Penis, Sexuality, UK, Vagina

Evidence That Sex and the City Would've Been a Lot More Interesting If It Had Involved Plus-Sized Sistahs

Plus-size sistah: And that damn condom came off!
Friend: Oh, shit, girl! What happened?
Plus-size sistah: I dunno. It's still up in there.
Friend: What? How long?
Plus-size sistah: It's been three days. I can't reach that bitch!
Friend: Girl! That's nasty! And if you askin' what I think you askin', you can forget it!

Restaurant, Chinatown
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Joe