The Beanstalk Giant Always Had Trouble Fitting In.

Teenager, chasing after young boy on bike: I'm gonna eat your children!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Li'l Bit

Posted on August 13, 2009
Canadia, Family ties, Kids, Teens, Threats, Violence

Show Some Respect

Girl to two people fighting in buffet line: Come on, you guys! Chill out, we're in the presence of food!

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Brit~ta~nee

Posted on August 5, 2009
Etiquette, Food, Girls, Guys, Nevada, Violence

What You Never Knew About Clark Kent's Upbringing

Daddy: If you don't eat…
Three-year-old boy: You'll hit my butt? I like it when you hit my butt, it feels good on my super wee-wee!

Chick-fil-A
Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: Carrie

Posted on August 4, 2009
Ass, Dads, Food, Kids, Parenting, Restaurants, Sensory experiences, Should have used a condom, South Carolina, Threats, Violence, Weirdness

In Between and During Periods Of Incarceration

Woman to mother being slapped in the rear by little boy: Oooh, your son is bad!
Mother: Yeah, I think he's gonna be an ass man when he grows up!

Jersey City
New Jersey

Posted on July 26, 2009
Age and ageing, Ass, Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting, Strangers, Violence, Women

Australian Baseball Is a Bit Different from Ours

Teen boy to group of friends: So okay, all we need to take with us is some glue, feathers, some petrol, and a lighter.
Friend: Cool.

Sydney
Australia

Posted on July 22, 2009
Australia, Friends, Teens, Violence, Weirdness

From Stephen King's The Passion Of Christine

Little girl: Where is Jesus?
Bored babysitter: Umm, I don't know… In your heart?
Little girl: Well, then guess what?
Bored babysitter: What?
Little girl: I'm going to punch him! (starts punching herself in the heart)

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on July 18, 2009
Babysitters, Body parts, Canadia, Feelings, Jesus, Kids, Questions, Violence

It Was Softball League– We'd Both Been Drinking

Supportive male friend: It's okay! Just remember, you fucked her sister with a baseball bat.
Cute girl: I know, I know…

Ann Arbor, Michigan

Posted on July 15, 2009
Family ties, Friends, Girls, Michigan, Sex, Violence, Weirdness

Kindly Extract the Lens from My Rectum

Teen boy: Look, you're being molested! It's a Kodak moment!

Humanex Academy
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on June 29, 2009
Colorado, Teens, Violence, Weirdness

Try It and You're Outtie.

Dad to kid: Come back here, or I'll have to beat you!
Kid, indignant: You can't beat me! I'm a belly button!

Wal-Mart
Pasco, Washington

Posted on June 23, 2009
Body parts, Dads, Kids, Parenting, Stores, Threats, Violence, Washington

And the State Will Take Both Of Us Away

Woman to four-year-old daughter: Do not touch anything. Do you know what will happen if you touch something?
Little girl: You'll smack me in the face!

Liquor Store
New Jersey

Posted on June 23, 2009
Kids, Moms, New Jersey, Questions, Stores, Threats, Violence, Weirdness

Violence