Five-year-old to grandma: You’re just jealous cuz you don’t like monkeys.
Target
Virginia
Overheard by: JH
College student: As soon as I get rid of this molluscum, watch out, I am on the prowl again.
Norfolk, Virginia
Overheard by: I hear ya
Professor: I thought it was an “Oh my god, ponies!” moment.
Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: It had to be…
Jolly literature professor: All of this talk of salacious babysitters and the indiscriminate disposing of corpses makes me feel like I’m back in Jersey again.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Teacher: I’ll hit you with my Latin stick!
Virginia
Overheard by: Doesn’t want to know
Undergrad #1: A computer man! You gotta get your e-mail.
Undergrad #2: A computer?! If you’re homeless, a computer is the least of your worries. There are more important things you would need, like food and crack.
Outside Enterprise Hall, George Mason University
Virginia
Overheard by: Grad Student
Frat guy #1: So my mom bought me two new polos. One is blue with pink, and the other is orange and green. But I already have one that's orange and green.
Frat guy #2: Dude, I'll take it.
Frat guy #1: Nah, I think I'm gonna trade it to Duke for some pot.
Virginia Tech
Cool college chick to friends: Ya know, birth control is the thing that makes sex okay.
Mexican Restaurant
Virginia
Overheard by: KMCV
Man in line: They should build a tunnel over the Elizabeth River.
Portsmouth, Virginia
Overheard by: the fly on the wall
Mom singing to two small boys and a baby in stroller: One, two, three, four! We’re going to the panty store! We’re going to the panty store! We’re going to the panty store!
Victoria’s Secret
Winchester, Virginia
Overheard by: Joanna
