Why Two Girls, One Vlad Failed to Find an Audience

20-something guy: Dude, Putin is terrifying. I don't think I've ever seen him crack a smile.
Middle aged woman: I know! Don't you ever wonder what he's like, like, during sex?
20-something guy and girl in unison: No.

Virginia Commonwealth University

Posted on January 3, 2009
Colleges & Universities, Default, Guys, Politics, Questions, Sex, Virginia, Women

That's When the Real Fun Begins

Frat boy to others: So you masturbate in a cup, right? Then you freeze it, and in the morning mix it with your protein powder.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Overheard by: red

Posted on December 25, 2008
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Cum, Default, Food, Frat boy types, Masturbation, Virginia, Weirdness

What's More Fun Than a Game Of Hungry, Hungry Hostage?

Black girl #1: Did you hear her? She said she was hungry as a hostage! I mean, how hungry is a hostage?
Black girl #2: Well…probably a lot…
Black girl #1: Yeah, but sometimes they feed yo' ass!

Northern Virginia

Overheard by: nosy roommate

Posted on December 8, 2008
Black people, Compare and contrast, Crimes, Default, Food, Girls, Questions, Virginia

White People: “We're Not Touching This One.”

Fat black woman to son running away: Don't make me go African American on your ass, now get back here!

Shafer Dining
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Lacy

Posted on December 2, 2008
Black people, Default, Fat people, Moms, Offers and requests, Parenting, Race, Restaurants, Virginia, Women, Words

From Now On, All Lectures Will Be Given by the TA.

Professor, talking about Meatless Tuesdays during WWI: And what would not eating meat save?
Genius (excitedly): Bullets!
Professor: Um, no.
Genius: By not having to shoot the animals.

History Class, Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia

Overheard by: be CNU

Posted on November 16, 2008
Class, Colleges & Universities, Default, Food, History, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Virginia

A National Cemetery Should Make the Comfort Of the Living Its Top Priority

Eight-year-old bratty boy at the top of the stairs: Elevators would be nice.

Robert E. Lee's Mansion, Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia

Posted on November 6, 2008
Compliments, Default, Kids, Technology, Virginia

God, Stop Smothering Me!

Random girl: And then I asked him, “So, how was that for you?” and then he said, “uh, I just came.”

Washington and Lee University
Lexington, Virginia

Posted on November 4, 2008
Colleges & Universities, Cum, Default, Girls, Questions, Virginia

Not As Gross As Mickey Mouse Christmas Ornaments, Honey

Hallmark salesgirl: My stomach really hurts.
Queer: Does your face hurt too?
Hallmark salesgirl (long pause): Oh my god, gross!

McLean, Virginia

Posted on November 3, 2008
Default, Employees, Girls, Gripes, Insults, Maladies, Queers, Questions, Sensory experiences, Virginia

Assume It's a Craft Project and Go on With Your Life

Girl on cell: Well, Kristy's brain was there, so that's good, but all the other brains were gone. Plus the whole bucket of eyes!

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Posted on October 17, 2008
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, On the phone, Virginia, Weirdness

David Hasselhoff Preps for His Next Audition

Guy on urinal on the phone: Yeah, let slip the dogs of war…protein. No truer words have ever been spoken…Shakespeare didn't know shit… (farts loudly) Fuck! (farts again) Fuck. Energy drinks…I'm outta here.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Posted on October 12, 2008
Books, Burping & farting, Colleges & Universities, Default, Drinking & drunks, Guys, On the phone, Restroom, Virginia, Weirdness, Words