Husband trying on sandals: There's too much bullshit. What is all this bullshit on here?
Wife: I don't know…there's a lot of stuff.
Husband: It's too much bullshit. I'm not paying for all this bullshit.
Leesburg Corner Outlet Mall
Leesburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Nat
Ditzy college girl: Everyone burps, everyone farts, everyone poops, and it feels fucking amazing.
Lynchburg College
Lynchburg, Virginia
20-something guy: Dude, Putin is terrifying. I don't think I've ever seen him crack a smile.
Middle aged woman: I know! Don't you ever wonder what he's like, like, during sex?
20-something guy and girl in unison: No.
Virginia Commonwealth University
Frat boy to others: So you masturbate in a cup, right? Then you freeze it, and in the morning mix it with your protein powder.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: red
Black girl #1: Did you hear her? She said she was hungry as a hostage! I mean, how hungry is a hostage?
Black girl #2: Well…probably a lot…
Black girl #1: Yeah, but sometimes they feed yo' ass!
Northern Virginia
Overheard by: nosy roommate
Fat black woman to son running away: Don't make me go African American on your ass, now get back here!
Shafer Dining
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Lacy
Professor, talking about Meatless Tuesdays during WWI: And what would not eating meat save?
Genius (excitedly): Bullets!
Professor: Um, no.
Genius: By not having to shoot the animals.
History Class, Christopher Newport University
Newport News, Virginia
Overheard by: be CNU
Eight-year-old bratty boy at the top of the stairs: Elevators would be nice.
Robert E. Lee's Mansion, Arlington National Cemetery
Arlington, Virginia
Random girl: And then I asked him, “So, how was that for you?” and then he said, “uh, I just came.”
Washington and Lee University
Lexington, Virginia
Hallmark salesgirl: My stomach really hurts.
Queer: Does your face hurt too?
Hallmark salesgirl (long pause): Oh my god, gross!
McLean, Virginia
