Part-time firefighter: So the next time you feel chest pains, it may not be a good idea to tell 911 that you took meth earlier. And the next time you're in a car crash, keep your pants on.
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: he has the most interesting stories…
Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually “poop,” but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.
Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Greeg
Guest lecturer: My pants are animate, socks are inanimate.
Linguistics professor: Did you just say your pants are animate?
Guest lecturer: Yes, if it's near your genitals it's animate.
Winnipeg
Manitoba
Canadia
Overheard by: Breanne
Bespectacled, be-hatted, be-flanneled guy to friend: It’s like Seattle without the heroin, New York without the coke. All bets are off. People are drunk 24/7.
Channing and Ellsworth
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Kaitlen, who wishes she knew where they were talking about
Guy: So Stacy comes in and finds me screaming in the shower.
Friend: Wow!
Guy: Yeah, there are some places you should just never touch after cutting Habanero peppers.
Men's Room
Garrison, New York
Overheard by: mark
Little boy, singing: Should I stay or should I go now? If I stay I’ll eat your armpits!
Newton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Amy
Girl to friend: So, there was this cute guy, and I was standing behind him, and he just started laying eggs!
Government Center
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: meems
Flea market lady: I don’t see the big deal about sanitation these days.
Older flea market lady: I know. The other day at work I dropped a cookie on the floor, then picked it up and ate it. You know, just to see what people would do.
Flea Market
Burley Park, Michigan
Overheard by: Amanda
Guy on bus: If I ever write a book, it'll be about how to kill my brother in the most painful way possible.
Girl on bus: But he's two.
Guy on bus: I don't care.
Toronto
Canadia
Overheard by: Meech
Guy: And then I was skipping down the street naked. I put my underpants back on after the girl realized that I wasn't wearing anything, though.
Portsmouth, Rhode Island
