Girl: Dude, Wikipedia “Rasputin” and ctrl+f “penis.”
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Claire
Girl, nodding to human mess across the way: Is that girl burning holes into a photograph with a cigarette?
Guy: That is frighteningly erotic.
University of South Florida
Girl #1, playing Tetris: Stop moving your feet, it's distracting me.
Girl #2: I wasn't trying to distract you! I needed to crack my ankles.
Girl #1: I bet Hitler just needed to crack his ankles too, he didn't mean to kill all those Jews.
Calgary
Canadia
Overheard by: Estelle
College student: So far, I'm three for three on not knowing who I left with, or how I got there.
Lycoming College
Williamsport, Pennsylvania
College girl #1: Look, there are two things in this world that I don't believe in: Cannibalism and butt sex.
College girl #2: I'm pretty sure both of those exist…
College girl #1: Yeah, but there is no way that they happen as much as people say they do! I mean, have you ever cannibalized or butt sexed? No, I didn't think so.
Charlottesville, Virginia
Overheard by: busting a gut
Private: I've been married to her for four years and only cheated on her for two. I don't see why she would wanna split.
Ft. Gordon, Georgia
Girl to friend: Yes, but he can't pick it off an apple tree that comes out of my vag.
Dorm
Washington, DC
Girl, crying or laughing: I just can't believe you love me; I have shown up on your doorstep so fucking wasted.
Guy: Baby, you found a plastic fork in your panties! It's okay! Anyway, it was not one of your better nights.
Girl: Actually, it was one of my better nights.
Mission District
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Judylicious
Female student to friend at bus stop: So, he was, like, freakishly quiet, but every now and then he would bust out with something that, you know, we would say, you know, like, (bursts into song) “Do you like waffles? Yeah, I like waffles!” (in normal voice) And, you know, I would be, like, “Woah! He is a real person.”
University of Oklahoma
Overheard by: becauseobviouslyallnormalpeoplelikewaffles
Guy: Well, I mean the sun was coming up, and we went and got sandwiches afterwards, and rolled another joint.
Bemused girl: All this is setting the scene nicely, but it doesn't explain how you ended up masturbating on a school roof together.
Guy: We were twenty feet apart with our backs to each other, it wasn't gay or anything!
Cork
Ireland
