Weirdness

Girl #1: Vern's breaking down.
Girl #2: Who?
Girl #1: My car.
Girl #2: Oh. I was worried there for a second.

Bellingham, Washington

Mom to little girl: No, we are not getting Eliza* a present. She hasn't given you a present ever since the elephant incident.

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Pre-cal teacher to apathetic senior students: Now we're getting into the fun stuff–exponential growth of fruit flies!

Prattville, Alabama

Overheard by: Lindsey

Girl #1: Hey girl, what's up? How's your summer? You still runnin' 'round with that bad boy?
Girl #2: Oh no, he dead.
Girl #1: He dead?! No! He dead? When?
Girl #2: Few weeks ago. It don't matter. We weren't goin' out no more.

eavesdropdc.blogspot.com

Drunk student: I want nothing more in life than to be able to turn into a shoehorn.

Vancouver
Canadia

Handsome guy: He's always speaking in code, like “my son's so flaming he could toast a marshmallow,” or “my son's so flaming he has toasted a marshmallow,” which I don't really get, because everyone toasts marshmallows.

MetroNorth Train
Connecticut

Confused lady on PA: Ladies and gentleman, flight 250… Wait, where am I?

Airport
Salt Lake City, Utah

Guy leaving psych class: Why are we talking about bed bugs liking it up the ass?! How is that relevant?

University of Pittsburgh
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Ellie

Sexy blonde: So I was on cross-dresser's wife yesterday.
Okay-looking blonde: What? Where?
Sexy blonde: Cross-dressers wife. Anyway, I was looking for hot cross-dressers to…you know,to…
Okay-looking blonde: I'm not sure I wanna hear the rest, but now I'm morbidly curious. And?
Sexy blonde: I couldn't find any cross-dressers! It was, like, nothing but girls talking about cross-dressing and cross-dressers!
Okay-looking blonde: So? What's wrong with that?
Sexy blonde: A girl's got needs. I can't just get started without cross-dressers. I should sue.

Kansas City, Kansas

Girl to friend: I distinctly remember him saying “I still have the dildo up my ass.”

UCLA
Los Angeles, California