[Three intoxicated college girls are walking along the street. One trips, falls, and all three laugh hysterically. An unmarked police van passes by]Cop, yelling out of the window: Looks like three underage drinking tickets right there!
Girl #1: We’re all 21!
Cop: Well, it looks like you’re 4!
Girl #2: Looks like you’re 37 and looking for a boyfriend!
Madison, Wisconsin
Director of the office of judicial affairs: It was a blizzard. It was snowing so much, it was snowing like a pig. (pause) I have no idea why I just said that.
Orientation
University, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Emurii
Loud woman: But she said it wasn't a Target! It was a Wal-Mart. And then the grandmother didn't die. And she's still alive today!
Panda East
Amherst, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Rachel
Little girl: Is there diarrhea here? I love diarrhea!
Mother: I have no idea what you're talking about, but it doesn't sound good, so stop it.
Target
Delran, New Jersey
Overheard by: Amused Employee
Mother to son: I’m not sure, but I think grandma was high.
Union Station
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Seska
Professor: And this means that… [Looks at two students in the second row wearing striped shirts.] I just noticed that you two are matching! Wow! Anyway, this means that… [Sees another student farther back.] You too! [Stands back, eyes class suspiciously.] That’s almost too much of a coincidence.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Guy: I was a dragon in my past life.
Girl: Did you have sex with other dragons?
Guy: Of course.
High School Gym
West Virginia
Overheard by: Kimber
