This Is Quite an Impressive Resume

Woman on phone: Man, you know what open flesh smells like!

BART Station
Pittsburg, California

Overheard by: Hannah

Posted on March 14, 2019
California, Compare and contrast, Default, Food, Public transportation, Sensory experiences, Women

Whatever You Say, Latonya

Woman in line to another: Yeah, my brother’s birthday is tomorrow. He’s Aryan.

Wal-Mart
Tracy, California

Overheard by: Jeff

Posted on February 18, 2019
Age and ageing, California, Default, Family ties, On the phone, Pride, Race, Stores, Stupidity, Whiteys, Women

Quoth the Raven, “Nevermore.”

30-something woman on cell: Yeah, the crow was annoying, but at least it wasn't masturbating.

Framingham, Massachusetts

Posted on February 13, 2019
Birds, Gripes, Massachusetts, Masturbation, Weirdness, Women

We Better Have to Swim Through Her Blood When We Disembark

Metro announcement: The Red Line is experiencing delays due to a sick customer at Farragut North… Trains will share tracks at Gallery Place and Metro Center.
Man on metro: How sick was this customer?
Woman on metro: She better be dead, I'll tell you that.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: jposkin

Posted on February 13, 2019
Death & dying, Default, Guys, Maladies, Public transportation, Strangers, Washington, DC, Women

Dressed As a Boy!

12-year-old: She's such a slut. She went on a date alone with a boy!
Mother: I don't believe that.
12-year-old: It's true! I was there!

Denver, Colorado

Posted on January 15, 2019
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Kids, Moms, Relationships, Women

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Woman on cell: Dude, you guys drink milk like cows!

San Diego, California

Overheard by: Nance

Posted on January 13, 2019
Animals, California, Compare and contrast, Food, On the phone, Women

That's Just Our German Chocolate Cake, Ma'am

Little old lady to cashier: Satan puked here.

Rapid City, South Dakota

Posted on January 12, 2019
Customers, Default, Evil, Old folks, Religious fanatics, South Dakota, Weirdness, Women

Who Knew That Would Ever Turn Out to Be a Bad Idea?

Woman #1: Do you want to become a judge?
Woman #2: No way!
Woman #1: Why not?
Woman #2: I have too many naked photos on the internet out there of me!

Coffee Shop
Salt Lake City

Overheard by: Snazzy

Posted on December 21, 2018
Internet, Jobs & Careers, Porn, Questions, Utah, Weirdness, Wishes, Women

Now Tom Cruise Has It

White-haired 60-something lady on cell: I can't live there anymore. (pause) No, it's not that. She's trying to force her Scientology on me. (pause) Oh, you didn't know? Yeah, she's not a lesbian anymore. She joined Scientology to change her from being lesbian. (pause) They made her lesbian side go away.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on December 18, 2018
Louisiana, On the phone, Religion, Sexuality, Women

I Still Hate to Buy Her a Two-Year Planner, Though

Guy on one side of the store: So how's your friend who has cancer?
Woman in queue, thirty feet away: Oh, she's getting better!
Guy: Really?
Woman: Yeah, they put her on this herbal diet and now she's getting better.
Guy: Wow.
Woman: Yeah, it's amazing.
Guy: So what sort of cancer is it?
Woman: I'm not sure…
Guy: Is it terminus cancer?
Woman: Yeah, I think that's it.
Guy: Terminus cancer, yeah?
Woman: Yeah, yeah, but she's getting better.

London
England

Overheard by: Irongate

Posted on November 25, 2018
England, Food, Guys, Maladies, Questions, Stupidity, Women

Women

Like in Revenge Of the Dairy Fairy!