Teen: I couldn't tell if he meant “stop, exclamation point,” “don't, exclamation point,” or if he meant “don't stop, exclamation point.”
Friend: What did you do?
Teen: Look, that handjob wasn't going to finish itself, and I have a reputation, so I had no choice.
Friend: You're a goddamn trooper.
Syracuse Mall
Syracuse, New York
Overheard by: Just Exclaming!
Girl: She really hated you for awhile, though. She even made a voodoo doll of you.
Guy: Are you fucking serious?!
Girl: Well, she Velcroed a bunch of angry words to a cabbage patch doll and then cried because she was afraid the doll thought she was angry at it specifically.
Guy: She always maintained an impressive level of incompetence.
Boston, Massachusetts
Ditzy new student: People don't think I'm smart. But I just don't, like, like big words. I don't use them. I used one of them once at work and no one knew what I was talking about!
University of South Australia
Loud black girl: And Lafawnda was all, “I kissed a girl and I liked it!” But it wasn't like she was curvaceous or anything!
Outside Shedd Aquarium
Chciago, Illinois
Overheard by: Mateo
Four-year-old girl skipping down aisle, singing: Penis, penis, tickle, tickle, penis.
Wal-Mart
Carrollton, Texas
Overheard by: Iron Cowgirl
Bimbette, staring at Gay-Straight Alliance meeting sign: Oh my god, the gay thing was *so* five years ago.
Troy High School
Fullerton, California
Social problems teacher: So what are some social problems that affect us today?
Female student: Murder?
Teacher: Yeah, that’s good. [writes it on the white board.] Any others?
Male student: Narcissism?
Teacher: I don’t quite understand…
Male student: Well if people are falling asleep all the time and they don’t know it…
Grand Rapids Community College
Grand Rapids, Michigan
Drunk girl: ‘Fuck’ is my favorite word!
Sober boyfriend, laughing: ‘Fuck’ is not your favorite word. ‘Fuck’ is your favorite word some of the time.
Drunk girl: ‘Some of the time’ is my favorite word! [Falls over.]
Dorm room
Lexington, Kentucky
Overheard by: My Favorite Word Too
Pastor: Next week we have something very exciting! We have an organist coming into Sunday school! He will be demonstrating to us how he uses his organ, so make sure to come because you won't want to miss it!
Church
Alhambra, California
