Handsome guy: He's always speaking in code, like “my son's so flaming he could toast a marshmallow,” or “my son's so flaming he has toasted a marshmallow,” which I don't really get, because everyone toasts marshmallows.
MetroNorth Train
Connecticut
Handsome guy: He's always speaking in code, like “my son's so flaming he could toast a marshmallow,” or “my son's so flaming he has toasted a marshmallow,” which I don't really get, because everyone toasts marshmallows.
MetroNorth Train
Connecticut
Little kid #1: No, Daddy would never swear!
Little kid #2: Yeah, he does — when he drinks!
Dairy Queen
Roseau, Minnesota
Overheard by: jo
Big burly man, earnestly: So then he said, “my wife is in labor,” but I didn't exactly know what that meant.
English man, in disbelief: What? What did you think it meant?
Big burly man: I dunno… Um, like, just pregnant?
English man: So what did you say?
Big burly man: I just said, “yeah, that sucks for you.”
English man: Wow, he must have thought you were a real asshole.
Big burly man: Haha, yeah. And then she had the baby in the apartment.
(long pause)
Big burly man: So, anyway, now the building's hot water's not working.
Vancouver
Canadia
Overheard by: trying not to laugh
Bro #1: Dude, now that you're here…
Bro #2: We can start making some fucking memories!
Michigan State University
Receptionist, explaining e-mail to coworker: Or she may have even did the grammar slightly off.
Library
Arizona State University
High school girl #1: I hate how everyone judges you based on your grades.
High school girl #2: What?
High school girl #3: Well, okay. By “everyone,” I mean Asians.
Walter Johnson High School
Maryland
Five-year-old girl: Hey, mom, you know how you hate “pop and switch?”
Mom: Uh…what's “pop and switch?”
Five-year-old girl: The one where they trade bodies.
Mom: Oh! Oh, yeah, I hate “pop and switch.” That's scary…
JCPenney, Florence Mall
Florence, Kentucky
Overheard by: Dohiyi
Preschooler left alone in stroller, singing, to 20-something girl walking by: Cha, cha, cha…you're charming!
20-something, on cell: I think I just got hit on by a four-year-old! No, it was actually better than most of the lines I've heard.
Appleton, Wisconsin
Girl: You know, I'm usually a very wise person. Recently, with my situation, I lost a lot of my wiseness, but this trip has brought back that wiseness.
Boy: So, your wiseness never informed you it was called “wisdom”?
Girl: I hate you.
Banora Point High School
Australia
