Substitute teacher: Because your teacher is gone today, your prostitutions… Wait! No! Prosecutions… No, not that one either. Presentations. Yes, that's the one! Your presentations will be postponed.
High School
Kuna, Idaho
Overheard by: Girl in the back of the class
Old man with mullet to brown child in stroller: Buenos dias, niñito.
Woman pushing stroller: We’re black. He knows English.
Gallivan Center Trax Station
Salt Lake City, Utah
Guy: I couldn't get past her face. And then I did, and it was like, ugh.
Utah State University
Overheard by: Jan
Eight-year-old: You should never say ‘Oh my G-O-D.’ That’s bad.
20-ish brother: Oh my god!
Eight-year-old: You can’t say that! That’s bad!
20-ish brother: Okay. Jesus fucking Christ!
Connecticut
Physics professor: What do you do to amuse yourselves? You don't play with yourselves?
Guelph
Canadia
Father to 20-something daughter: One of these days we are going to have to take you on a trip and show you where everyone in the family is buried.
Daughter, dryly: That would be a lively trip.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Overheard by: It would be a trip to die for
Moral and religious education teacher, describing opening scene of Gridiron Gang: So the movie opens, right, and you hear all these guns going off, and everyone's gangbanging everywhere…
Students: (silence, then loud raucous laughter)
Teacher: Oh, Jesus Christ… I mean they're shooting loads at each other… Oh god, no…
Centennial Regional High School
Quebec
Canadia
Overheard by: amused
Sorostitute #1: Oooh, a Southern boy!
Sorostitute #2: Yeah, it’s just something about that Southern genitalia that makes him so sexy. Wait, ‘genitalia’? Is that the right word? Well, you know — that smooth Southern thing.
James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia
Sister: Grandma got him a box of latexes!
Dad: Oh, well, I didn't know you and grandma were so…ahem…close.
Brother: Oh! God! No! Stop! My ears!
Reston, Virginia
Overheard by: Carly
Sweet old lady: I'm a pretty wild gardener.
Bellingham, Washington
