If I Show You a Boob, Will You Forget This Lecture Ever Happened?

Moral and religious education teacher, describing opening scene of Gridiron Gang: So the movie opens, right, and you hear all these guns going off, and everyone's gangbanging everywhere…
Students: (silence, then loud raucous laughter)
Teacher: Oh, Jesus Christ… I mean they're shooting loads at each other… Oh god, no…

Centennial Regional High School
Quebec
Canadia

Overheard by: amused

Posted on July 29, 2015
Canadia, Default, Education, Movies, Murder, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sex, Students, Teachers, Words

… Hanging between His Knees

Sorostitute #1: Oooh, a Southern boy!
Sorostitute #2: Yeah, it’s just something about that Southern genitalia that makes him so sexy. Wait, ‘genitalia’? Is that the right word? Well, you know — that smooth Southern thing.

James Madison University
Harrisonburg, Virginia

Posted on July 29, 2015
Compliments, Creepsters, Default, US Geography, Virginia, Words

When He Was Little, She'd Carry Him in One of Her Haversacks

Sister: Grandma got him a box of latexes!
Dad: Oh, well, I didn't know you and grandma were so…ahem…close.
Brother: Oh! God! No! Stop! My ears!

Reston, Virginia

Overheard by: Carly

Posted on July 28, 2015
Compare and contrast, Condoms, Dads, Default, Family ties, Siblings, Virginia, Words

Sometimes I Go Overboard with My Hoeing

Sweet old lady: I'm a pretty wild gardener.

Bellingham, Washington

Posted on July 26, 2015
Compare and contrast, Default, Old folks, Washington, Weirdness, Women, Words

What Happens When You Read the Thesaurus at Bedtime

Little girl to dog: Lucy, no! I admonish you!

Perry Square
Erie, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Kat

Posted on July 25, 2015
Animals, Kids, Pennsylvania, Weirdness, Words

Why Does Everyone Keep Telling Me That?

Guy with soul patch: Don't German people always drive at 200 miles an hour all the time?
Girl in front row, sarcastically: I think you mean 200 kilometers per hour.
Guy with soul patch: It doesn't matter, they're the same thing!
Professor, calmly: If I go crazy and start a killing spree, you'll be the first one I get.

George Washington University
Washington, DC

Posted on July 25, 2015
Colleges & Universities, Death & dying, Education, Stupidity, Teachers, Washington, DC, Words

When Ward Was Out of Town, June Left Beaver with Wally and Went Barhopping

Guy: So, what do you do?
Woman: Well, I’m actually a homemaker.
Guy: … Oh! So you’re, like, in construction? That’s cool.

http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/07/well_the_hours_are_probably_si.html

Overheard by: DRB

Posted on July 24, 2015
Default, Guys, Minnesota, Questions, Stupidity, Women, Words

Penny-Pinchers Are Born, Not Made.

Little girl reading plastic bag: “Value village.” Value village? Do you know what that is?
Mother: It's a store.
Little girl: It just makes me so happy.

Toronto
Canadia

Posted on July 23, 2015
Canadia, Happiness, Moms, Names, Parenting, Questions, Shopping, Should have used a condom, Words

So Failing You Would Be Against My Religion

Professor, on last day of lecture: You are all pregnant.
(students awkwardly looking around and extremely uncomfortable)
Professor: …with your futures.

University of Wisconsin

Posted on July 21, 2015
Advice, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Education, Teachers, Wisconsin, Words

The Dust on His Floors

Chick: He loves to vacuum. No, wait, not vacuum. What’s that thing you do to your lawn? Mow! He likes to mow.

http://overheardlines.blogspot.com/2007/04/girl-on-her-great-new-guy.html

Overheard by: mk

Posted on July 20, 2015
Chicks, Overheard Lines, Words

Words