Professor: I’m just waiting for a chlorine radical to come and bite me up the ass.
Morraine Valley Community College
Palos Hills, Illinois
Overheard by: Kati
English professor, going over punctuation: We can fix this sentence by putting a comma here… and here… and here. See? Comma, comma, comma. [Breaks into song.] Comma-comma-comma-comma-comma chameleeeooon!
Community College
Palm Bay, Florida
Little boy being pushed in cart: You smell!
Dad: No, you smell!
Little boy: No, you smell!
Dad: You smell!
(a little later)
Little boy: That was awful!
Dad: Only because you think it is.
Little boy: You're a sock!
Dad: Oh, I'm a sock now?
Little boy: A soooock!
Dad: No, you're a sock!
Whole Foods
Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Kafrin
Punk guy: Man, I hate all these suburban punks.
Dumb girl: “Suburban”? Is that even a word??
Toledo, Ohio
Overheard by: Audrey
Single guy at preschool picnic surrounded by pretty MILFs: Clean, perfumed mommy flesh!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Made me laugh
Goateed gentleman: I tried to teach her that certain words for things were different, like that toothpaste was actually “poop,” but I think I waited until she was a bit too old.
Mars Volta Concert, Rams Head Live
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Greeg
50-something woman #1: I think he has that Marco Polo thing.
50-something woman #2: What?
50-something woman #1: You know, when someone is like, really depressed one minute then really happy the next.
50-something woman #2: Do you mean bipolar disorder?
50-something woman #1: Yeah that's the one.
Liverpool
England
Woman on cell: I don’t know. I couldn’t understand the message… I’ll let you listen to it later… Well, would anybody at the bank say ‘peace out’?
London
England
Guy #1: The pop tart is cooked, and by that I mean that I fucked her and now she's pregnant.
Guy #2: I can't wait for the day when I can say that to my mother.
Pullman
Washington
