Words

Criminal justice teacher: What do you mean “it doesn't fit”?
Student: The word doesn't match the blanks.
Criminal justice teacher: Hm…I probably wasn't sober when I made this.

Gilbert, Arizona

Overheard by: she's not kidding

Toolish guy: I don't believe that single consonants should be legitimate prepositions.

Dorm, Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mary Cait

Conductor: Next stop, Chiswick. (trailing off) Chiswick… Chiswick… Cheese balls… Cheese balls…balls. (normal tone) Next stop, Chiswick.

B Line
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Stefa

Professor: So does anyone know what the word “matrix” means in Latin?
(silence)
Professor: Well it means “womb.” Now, why might that be? Let's think about it…I mean, I guess a womb is a pretty good place to put…things.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Waitress: Do you all need anything else?
Black guy: Do ya'll have some salvation back there in the kitchen?
Black girl: Are you for real? You makin' me laugh so much I'm gonna need a bucket, ya'll got a bucket back there too?

Perkins
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Deanna Gustav

College girl: I'm so ready for my first homoerotic experience!

New Paltz, New York

Girl on phone: No, no, he's not bad news; he's just really tall.

Boulder, Colorado

High school psychology teacher: As humans, we all walk around on two legs. We're all pedophiles.

Michigan

Overheard by: Did you mean

Little girl in stall with dad: You're silly! This is silly!
Dad, peeing: Nothing is silly in here.
Girl: That's silly. This is silly. Stop.

Men's Bathroom
Hendersonville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Tanner

Student: I didn't get to say “bosums”! Dang it!

Seattle, Washington