Words

Nerd #1 to another: How do you write “dd” in hexadecimal again? I forget…
(they turn to look at fat woman walking by)
Nerd #2: I would not write a dissertation on her boobs. No way.

PATH Train
Hoboken, New Jersey

Overheard by: I wouldn't either

Teenager: Hey, which terminal is baggage claim?
Airport employee: Terminal T.
Teenager: Wait…which one?
Airport employee: Terminal T. “T” as in “Charlie.”

JFK Airport
New York City, New York

Overheard by:

British guy on cell: Ugh! I just stuck my umbrella in something that resembles feces!

MARTA
Atlanta, Georgia

Queer, after being rushed to play Scrabble: You don't understand what it's like having all vowels!
Drunk girl: You don't understand what it's like having a vagina, so who wins?
Queer: I do! I have an emotional vagina.

Long Beach, California

Overheard by: pucewoman

Criminal justice teacher: What do you mean “it doesn't fit”?
Student: The word doesn't match the blanks.
Criminal justice teacher: Hm…I probably wasn't sober when I made this.

Gilbert, Arizona

Overheard by: she's not kidding

Toolish guy: I don't believe that single consonants should be legitimate prepositions.

Dorm, Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mary Cait

Conductor: Next stop, Chiswick. (trailing off) Chiswick… Chiswick… Cheese balls… Cheese balls…balls. (normal tone) Next stop, Chiswick.

B Line
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Stefa

Professor: So does anyone know what the word “matrix” means in Latin?
(silence)
Professor: Well it means “womb.” Now, why might that be? Let's think about it…I mean, I guess a womb is a pretty good place to put…things.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Waitress: Do you all need anything else?
Black guy: Do ya'll have some salvation back there in the kitchen?
Black girl: Are you for real? You makin' me laugh so much I'm gonna need a bucket, ya'll got a bucket back there too?

Perkins
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Deanna Gustav

College girl: I'm so ready for my first homoerotic experience!

New Paltz, New York