Age and ageing

Flight attendant: Please ensure that your mobile phone is switched off for take-off. If you don't know how to turn your phone off, there are plenty of kids on this flight who do.

Adelaide Airport
Australia

Annoying girl #1: She's the only girl I know that really wants to fuck a 90-year-old man.
Annoying girl #2: I really would!

Chilis, New Jersey

Overheard by: K

Teacher: You know, when I was your age we didn't have classes like this. If you wanted to learn about personal finance, you got a job. If you wanted to learn about sex, you went to the bathroom.

Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri

Teen girl: I hate you.
Teen guy: You hate me? Nice. Real mature… (pause) Oh my god! An Elmo lunchbox!

Officeworks
Bendigo
Australia

Overheard by: ColdSpiral

Woman #1: My boss shaves his legs.
Woman #2: Really?
Woman #1: His legs, his back, his chest, everything. All guys do it now.
Woman #2: That's so weird. My son asked me to wax his chest because he said girls don't like hairy chests.
Woman #1: How much hair could a 14-year-old have?
Woman #2: Actually, a lot.
Woman #1: He's going to be really hairy when he's older.
Woman #2: Fortunately not on his back yet. So anyway–don't tell anybody I told you this. You're sworn to secrecy–I told him I wouldn't wax him, but I went out and bought some Nair and put it on him, and it worked. But the next morning, he was in such pain–his chest was all inflamed. He said he would never do it again.

Women's Gym
Studio City, California

Overheard by: I always eavesdrop on these two

Black girl to girlfriend: He's young, like 24, 25. And get this: I was like, “So, what else do you do?” and he goes “I make beats.” I said, “Of course you do.”

Subway
New York City, New York

Overheard by: EL

Girl on the street (looking at cars go by): Have you ever noticed how old people are like drunk people driving?

Fairfax, California

Girl: Nick's dick reminds me of being fifteen.

Marquee Theatre
Phoenix, Arizona

Galveston woman: I swear, when I first met Sheila 20 years ago she looked middle-aged. She still looks middle-aged.
Guest from California: Maybe she discovered the fountain of middle age.

Galveston, Texas

Overheard by: Chas

Girl to friends: I’m 31 years old, for Christ’s sake. My mom doesn’t get it. I’m too fucking old to get excited about some guy that pisses himself, calls me up and acts like it’s a fucking achievement.

Bar
Atlanta, Georgia