Overly dramatic English teacher: You will have the face you deserve when you are eighty. I will be beautiful.
AC Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Overly dramatic English teacher: You will have the face you deserve when you are eighty. I will be beautiful.
AC Flora High School
Columbia, South Carolina
Father on phone to wife: No, it was at dinner, and then this drunk at the next table made a comment about our son. No. He said Josh looked like “a retarded page from the dark ages.” That's not funny. (long pause) I'll schedule him for a haircut tomorrow.
Pennsylvania
Drunk old guy (supported by another): 61 years of celibacy!
Pirate's Alley
New Orleans, Louisiana
Overheard by: Sara
Soccer mom #1: I heard once that the reason animals don't live as long as humans is because they come into the world knowing how to love, and we have to learn.
Soccer mom #2: That is so true.
Lee County Humane Society
Auburn, Alabama
Overheard by: Gee
Guy #1: You want to come hang out at my grandparents' with me?
Guy #2: That's alright. I don't like hanging out with grandparents. They're always dying and shit.
Gastown
Vancouver
Canadia
College girl #1: And I want to see babies running around soon.
College girl #2: Yeah, I definitely want children. I'm *so* horny. I want babies.
College girl #1: Yeah, they're starting to grow on me. I mean, I definitely want kids. And I want to be a young mom, like I want to have kids by 25. I don't want to be one of those moms who just throw their kids outside and tell them to have fun.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Danielle
Professor: The floor's getting further away the older I get, but there's always Jack Daniels and Percocet.
Rutgers University
New Jersey
Overheard by: hopes he never gets THAT old
Flight attendant: Please ensure that your mobile phone is switched off for take-off. If you don't know how to turn your phone off, there are plenty of kids on this flight who do.
Adelaide Airport
Australia
Annoying girl #1: She's the only girl I know that really wants to fuck a 90-year-old man.
Annoying girl #2: I really would!
Chilis, New Jersey
Overheard by: K
Teacher: You know, when I was your age we didn't have classes like this. If you wanted to learn about personal finance, you got a job. If you wanted to learn about sex, you went to the bathroom.
Rock Bridge High School
Columbia, Missouri
