Called Him Jonah

Crackhead lady: I was raised on McDonald’s hamburgers until one day I puked up a fish!

McDonald’s
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on January 27, 2018
Age and ageing, Canadia, Crazies, Default, Druggies, Food, Health & Hygiene

Better Than Our Current Strategy in the Middle East

Crazy hobo, walking in office: Ecstasy! Ecstasy! Give every male one shot of ecstasy a day from the time they are seven to seventy, and that will end all the violence!

Phoenix, Arizona

Overheard by: follylolly

Posted on January 9, 2018
Age and ageing, Arizona, Crazies, Drugs, Hobos, Violence, Weirdness

Even Mothers Don't Really Know Where Babies Come From

60-something woman: He has always been a quiet person. He's been that way for as long as I have know him, and I have known him since he was a little boy.
Car salesman: Yeah. Wait, didn't you give birth to him?
Woman: I guess I have known him pretty much from the beginning, then. Weird.

Car Dealership
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma

Overheard by: stephen

Posted on November 5, 2017
Age and ageing, Default, Employees, Guys, Kids, Oklahoma, Questions, Weirdness, Women

Seems Unfair to Blame Bill Cosby

20-something chick on cell: How do five-year-olds even know about jello enemas?

Vallejo Street
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Pookins

Posted on September 27, 2017
Age and ageing, California, Default, Girls, Kids, Kink, On the phone, Questions, Weirdness

It's the STD for the New Century

Guy #1: What? Barely legal girls are hot.
Guy #2: Barely lethal?
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What?

Univeristy of Florida
Gainesville, Florida

Posted on May 18, 2017
Age and ageing, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Florida, Guys, Questions, Sexuality, Words

The Operative Phrase Here Is “Tried As an Adult”

Teen boy #1: Wow, she’s hot.
Teen boy #2: What? She’s, like, ten! You’re a pedophile!
Teen boy #1: I’m not a pedophile — I’m only sixteen! You can’t be a pedophile until you’re eighteen.
Teen boy #3: That’s right — I’m the only pedophile here.
Teen boy #4: I’m almost a pedophile…

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: mikee

Posted on December 16, 2016
Age and ageing, Default, Gripes, Guys, Pennsylvania, Teens, Words

Just Eat It With a Spoon Like Those Kids in the Bill Cosby Commercials

Guy on mobile: Hi! I just wanted to clear up that whole breastfeeding thing…well, my boss has a one-and-a-half-year-old, and he said there were three stages: a sort of watery stage, then it moves into a semi-skimmed stage, then just pudding. Well, I just found out today and I thought you'd want to know too.

N21 Bus
London
England