Guy on phone: That sounds awesome. (pause) Did he kill the bear? (pause) Wellllll, fuck him!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Coral
Guy on phone: That sounds awesome. (pause) Did he kill the bear? (pause) Wellllll, fuck him!
Manhattan, New York
Overheard by: Coral
Girl to friends: So, when I was 6, I took my golden retriever's rectal temperature with a tire pressure gauge.
Nice Restaurant
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Veterinary pathology professor: The client's Samoyed had puppies, and the last pup came out green. So what happened? Did the bitch get raped by a martian?
Washington State University
Pullman, Washington
Four-year-old: I wanna go in there!
Mother: The small mammal house?
Four-year-old, screaming: Small mammals!
Mother: Do you even know what small mammals are?
Four-year-old now, quiet and embarrassed: No.
The National Zoo
Washington, DC
Woman on phone: I saw a greyhound in the middle of the road. So I told her, “there's a greyhound in the middle of the road!”
Sydney
Australia
Girl to friend: He's like the crocodile hunter of smoking cigarettes and really slutty girls.
Plymouth, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Liz Nelson
Mom: Oh, no… A dead chipmunk.
Small child: Yay! A dead chipmunk!
Morgantown, West Virginia
Guy to friends: In his backyard were six tortured dogs. (pause) And those dogs were us!
York University
Canadia
Overheard by: that guys cat
Agriculture student #1: So she starts screaming and I just knew, so I said, “did you search for “hot dog” without using the safety search?”
Agriculture student #2: Oh, no, hot dog without a fig leaf?
Agriculture student #1: Yeah! And you know how she is, so she starts screaming and freaking out. But it wasn't even a human, it was a dog…
University of Florida
Gainesville, Florida
Blue collar guy on lunch break: Does she use a strap-on or does she have something that pops out like a turtle head?
Northwestern Law School
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: What a Horrible Visual
