Guy: It's not like he has one extra nipple… He has two.
Girl: He's like a rat!
Starbucks
Hollywood, California
Guy: It's not like he has one extra nipple… He has two.
Girl: He's like a rat!
Starbucks
Hollywood, California
Bartender to woman with two drinks: Double-fisting it tonight? You must be really thirsty.
Woman, patting stomach: Well, I’m drinking for two.
Bartender, excited: Congratulations!
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Emma
Stoner #1: The other day I saw this homeless guy, and I felt bad, and I had just bought a stack, so I gave him some weed. He was like: “Thank you very much.”
Stoner #2: Are you serious?
Stoner #1: Yeah. I don’t care what anybody says, that was the most down shit ever. I fucking love bums.
Chino, California
Older lady to complete strangers: So the last guy I dated, all he wanted was sex! We were on the beach and we passed a trench, and he was like “I'll put you in that hole!”
Escondido, California
Girl: I told him I didn't dance, because I didn't want to dance with him, but all these other guys asked me if I wanted to dance and I had to say no because I told him I didn't dance, but I really wanted to dance. So we have to go, so that I can dance.
Friend: So, did you dance with him?
Pasadena, California
Overheard by: needs new friends
Girl: He's like a pedophile, but for some reason that just makes me like him more.
Santa Cruz, California
Biotech: Wow. That girl wears clothes like she’s not fat, and that’s funny.
California
Overheard by: dev
Fat black woman on cell: Black women are better than white women, because you can beat the shit out of them and the bruises won’t be visible!
BART train
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Gilatron
NASA intern guy #1: I think your fish are gay… Like, 99 percent sure. Look, they’ve got vertical bars.
NASA intern guy #2: They so want each other.
NASA intern guy #1: They do. And it’s not unrequited. Look, they both have vertical bars!
NASA Ames Research Center
Silicon Valley, California
Guy on cell: Yeah, I hooked up with her. [pause] I fucked her. She was tight. [pause] She hasn’t called me back. I don’t get why it’s so hard to take five seconds out of your day to see how I’m doing. [pause] She’s, like, Asian. Half Asian and half alien.
Barnes & Noble
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Hobo
