Girl to friend: What if I am pregnant? How will I know who the father is? Well, if it comes out half Asian it's Jason's. If it comes out a midget it's Thomas's, and if it comes out blurry, it's the unnamed guy.
Escondido, California
Overheard by: Brit-ta-nee
Old guy: So did you have hallway sex last night?
Old fat guy: Uh… Yeah… Last night was kinda crazy.
Taco Truck
Visalia, California
Physics professor: Nature doesn't care what you think.
De Anza College
Cupertino, California
Overheard by: shyinvisiblegirl loves physics
Asian chick: You feel used? I sent him a picture of my boobs and got nothing!
Nordstrom’s cafe, Market Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: Ladle
Drunk girl #1: I totally feel like there’s going to be an earthquake any day now.
Drunk girl #2: I know, this is totally earthquake weather.
Santa Monica, California
Overheard by: made my next round a double
Woman on cell: Dude, you guys drink milk like cows!
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Nance
Professor, hitting mic and causing feedback: Oops, sorry. [Whispering to self] It’s my android nature.
Human Sexuality class, UCSC
Santa Cruz, California
Cashier: Birdseed, one lemon, a bottle of toilet bowl cleanser, and a package of bacon?
Stoned surfer dude: Yeah, man. It’s amazing how little you really need in life.
San Diego, California
Overheard by: Orion QP
Guy: Didn’t you have a friend who lost her virginity to her shoe?
Green haired girl: Yeah. She fell on her foot and ruptured it or something. Like riding a horse.
Pink haired girl: What the fuck?
Guy: Told you!
Green haired girl: I felt bad when she told us because I was the only one busting up laughing.
California
Three-year-old climbing on plastic Ronald McDonald: He’s not real! [Smacks his face.] He’s not real!
Walmart
Pleasanton, California
Overheard by: Stephen
