Stoned Friends: Oooo…

Guy to friends: In his backyard were six tortured dogs. (pause) And those dogs were us!

York University
Canadia

Overheard by: that guys cat

Posted on November 2, 2010
Animals, Assholes, Canadia, Euphemisms, Friends

I Give It Five Fist-Pumps.

Man #1: You don't watch it?
Man #2: It's beneath me.
Man #3, under his breath: Jersey Shore is a good fucking show!

AMC Theatres
Toronto
Canadia

Posted on October 5, 2010
Canadia, Guys, Questions, TV shows

…Brian.

Mother of musical theater fan: Oh, I didn't know Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote that. Well, maybe I did, but you weren't my daughter then.

Canadia

Posted on September 19, 2010
Age and ageing, Canadia, Family, Moms, Music, Parenting

…That's Sick!

Tiny black girl: And then I had to have Buckley's, and you know what? It tastes exactly like jizz.
Asian girl, perplexed: You've had Buckley's?

Pub
Toronto
Canadia

Posted on September 16, 2010
Asians, Bars & Clubs, Black people, Canadia, Compare and contrast, Cum, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Sensory experiences

They Get All Our Leftover Weather, Anyway

Old lady: Are you able to check the weather in Toronto?
Young guy: No, the internet can't reach that far.
Old lady: Oh.

Windsor
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 11, 2010
Canadia, Guys, Internet, Old folks, Questions, Weather, Weirdness, Women

The Plot Of Every Romantic Comedy, in a Nutshell.

Loud hipster on cell, in quiet restaurant: If you went into the jungle, I wouldn't follow you because I don't trust you! (pause) Awesome! Let's hang out.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Mrs. Rollins

Posted on September 10, 2010
Canadia, Hipsters, Offers and requests, On the phone, Relationships, Restaurants

And We All Vomited Discreetly Into the Shrubbery

Guy #1: Isn't there something wrong with getting smashed at a baby shower?
Guy #2: Well, it wasn't exactly a kosher baby shower…

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: intheback

Posted on September 1, 2010
Canadia, Guys, Kids, Questions, Religion, Violence

Not During?

Incredibly drunk sorority girl to boyfriend: Sweetie, can we throw up before we do it tonight?

UBC
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: The only sober guy on the bus

Posted on August 24, 2010
Canadia, Couples, Drunks, Health & Hygiene, Sensory experiences, Sex, Sorority types

…And No Sharesies!

Guy walking into bathroom: Hey, is that your beer on top of that urinal?
Guy using urinal: You know it!

Prince Edward Tavern
Hamilton
Canadia

Overheard by: M@

Posted on August 20, 2010
Bars & Clubs, Canadia, Drinking & drunks, Guys, Pee, Questions, Restroom

As the Palestinians Keep Telling the Israelis

Dad to eight-year-old son: Well, stop giving people wedgies and they'll stop throwing rocks at you.

Edmonton
Canadia

Overheard by: Christina M.

Posted on August 20, 2010
Advice, Canadia, Dads, Kids, Parenting, Violence