They Get All Our Leftover Weather, Anyway

Old lady: Are you able to check the weather in Toronto?
Young guy: No, the internet can't reach that far.
Old lady: Oh.

Windsor
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on September 11, 2010
Canadia, Guys, Internet, Old folks, Questions, Weather, Weirdness, Women

The Plot Of Every Romantic Comedy, in a Nutshell.

Loud hipster on cell, in quiet restaurant: If you went into the jungle, I wouldn't follow you because I don't trust you! (pause) Awesome! Let's hang out.

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: Mrs. Rollins

Posted on September 10, 2010
Canadia, Hipsters, Offers and requests, On the phone, Relationships, Restaurants

And We All Vomited Discreetly Into the Shrubbery

Guy #1: Isn't there something wrong with getting smashed at a baby shower?
Guy #2: Well, it wasn't exactly a kosher baby shower…

Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: intheback

Posted on September 1, 2010
Canadia, Guys, Kids, Questions, Religion, Violence

Not During?

Incredibly drunk sorority girl to boyfriend: Sweetie, can we throw up before we do it tonight?

UBC
Vancouver
Canadia

Overheard by: The only sober guy on the bus

Posted on August 24, 2010
Canadia, Couples, Drunks, Health & Hygiene, Sensory experiences, Sex, Sorority types

…And No Sharesies!

Guy walking into bathroom: Hey, is that your beer on top of that urinal?
Guy using urinal: You know it!

Prince Edward Tavern
Hamilton
Canadia

Overheard by: M@

Posted on August 20, 2010
Bars & Clubs, Canadia, Drinking & drunks, Guys, Pee, Questions, Restroom

As the Palestinians Keep Telling the Israelis

Dad to eight-year-old son: Well, stop giving people wedgies and they'll stop throwing rocks at you.

Edmonton
Canadia

Overheard by: Christina M.

Posted on August 20, 2010
Advice, Canadia, Dads, Kids, Parenting, Violence

Just When You Think Canadia Can't Get Any Cooler

Eight-year-old girl, incredulously: You slept with him?

Schoolyard
Canadia

Overheard by: awesomepossum

Posted on August 6, 2010
Canadia, Kids, Questions, Sex

The Male Equivalent Of the Old Menstrual Cramps Excuse

Mother: Take off your backpack and put it on your lap.
Five-year-old boy: No.
Mother: Put your backpack on your lap.
Five-year-old boy: No! It will hurt my balls.

Streetcar
Toronto
Canadia

Posted on July 26, 2010
Balls, Canadia, Kids, Moms, Offers and requests, Parenting

I Also Don't Believe in the Existence Of John and Kate

Suspicious wife: Hey, didn't you tell me that mermaids don't really exist?
Husband: Yes. And I stand by that.
Suspicious wife: Then how cone they had a show on TLC called Mermaid Girl and it was all about a girl who was a real mermaid?
Husband: They aren't talking about the kind of mermaid that you're thinking of! It's probably just a girl with her legs fused together or something. The mermaids you're thinking of don't exist and they never have!
Suspicious wife: They exist. You lied to me!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: Momo

Posted on July 17, 2010
Canadia, Couples, Health & Hygiene, Lies, Questions, Stupidity, TV shows

Need a Vacation from the Metric System, Canadia?

Deli customer: Could I have a kilo of shaved black forest ham, please?
Confused deli worker: How much?
Deli customer: One kilo.
Confused deli worker: I need to know how much you want.
Deli customer, getting frustrated: One kilo of shaved black forest ham.
Confused deli worker: So, 500 grams?
Deli customer, astonished: A kilo is 1000 grams.
Confused deli worker: Um… How much do you want?
Deli customer, annoyed: One kilo.
Confused deli worker: I don't know how much you want.
Deli customer, more annoyed: One kilo. 1000 grams.
Confused deli worker, after thinking for a minute: So, two 500 gram packages?
Deli customer, astonished: Sure.
Deli customer's partner: Are you serious?

Edmonton
Canadia

Overheard by: Math is hard

Posted on July 12, 2010
Canadia, Customers, Employees, Food, Questions, Stores, Stupidity