Elevator repair man: Hey, I got a call that someone was stuck in the elevator.
Security guard: Yeah, but I haven't heard any more noise from her in like four hours, so I guess she's fine.
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Elevator repair man: Hey, I got a call that someone was stuck in the elevator.
Security guard: Yeah, but I haven't heard any more noise from her in like four hours, so I guess she's fine.
Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Guy to TA, during archaeology midterm exam: When it says “How did they adapt physically?” does that mean…like…physically?
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Soccer mom to group of children: Okay, who's dead?
Several of the children, excitedly: I'm dead! I'm dead!
Outisde Trinity Rep
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Katie M
History professor: The Irish love country music. When you're there, you expect to hear bagpipes playing, but then you walk into a bar and it's all, “you've been flushed from the bathroom of my heart!”
Northern Kentucky University
Overheard by: Dohiyi
Guy with small crowd around him (completely straight-faced): So we're doing everything we can to ensure that there'll be as little incest going on as possible. (crowd nods)
Hofstra University, New York
Woman to friend: I was just wondering how I was going to get my panties on in traffic.
University of Miami, Florida
Overheard by: Tatiana
Guy: I mean, she was a one on a binary scale, but…
Harvard University
Cambridge, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Lulia
Frat boy to others: So you masturbate in a cup, right? Then you freeze it, and in the morning mix it with your protein powder.
George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: red
Dude #1: What are you doing this weekend?
Dude #2: Well, I know I'm going to see at least one more naked person this weekend than usual.
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Biology professor: And don't play frisbee with a beluga whale. They've been known to masturbate with them.
University of Mississippi
