Professor: Do we know if marijuana has any long-term effects?
Male student: Ball cancer.
Western Michigan University
Overheard by: H
Very drunk girl, exiting party: Oh my, it's dark outside!
Sober girl: Oh, are you gonna need help back to your dorm or anything?
Very drunk girl: Oh, no. Wine gives me night vision.
University of Kentucky
Overheard by: Emmatastic
Random guy: He's like a cross between Michael Jackson and a Swiss Army knife.
University
England
Guy, walking angrily: She thinks that vampires evolved, so now they can be out in the sun like normal people. She also thinks it's degrading to have sex in any position other than missionary, when she's sober.
University of Delaware
Overheard by: what???
Moody college girl on phone: No, I have to go the macro class right now and pretend to be a Republican. If you don't agree with the professor, you're wrong.
(pause)
Moody college girl: Yeah, if I can pull this off I deserve an Emmy, or an Oscar. Hell, I'll take a cookie!
Northeastern University
Boston, Massachusetts
US History professor, angrily: I don't put up stuff on the overhead for me to masturbate to! I do that at home. Pay attention!
Georgia State University
Overheard by: Kat
Girl #1: Do you think I could wash my clothes with fabric softener? I don't have any detergent.
Girl #2: That should probably work.
(30 minutes later)
Girl #2: So, did it work?
Girl #1: Yeah… I think… they don't smell anymore, at least. Good enough, right?
Laundry Room, University of Alabama
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: I don't think it is
Customer: I’d like some tea… Organic mint, please.
Barista: Okay, we have organic lemon and organic Earl Grey.
Customer: Um… Actually, I wanted the organic mint.
Barista: Oh, we have that, too.
Customer: Okay, then. That’s the one I’ll have.
Design Coffee shop, University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Just Me
College chick: I, like, physically cannot get good grades… I think the problem is in my brain.
University of North Carolina – Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: KAT
Professor: Say that you were to walk into class, and I was wearing…a red thong.
(students laugh) I'm not done. I also have sequins on my nipples–and my hair is in a red Mohawk. Half of you would turn around and walk out. The other half would think, “Eh, I can always drop the class.”
Santa Rosa Junior College
Santa Rosa, California
