Dude: And then we had to carry Elizabeth *three blocks* back to my place because she was too wide to fit in the car.
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Dude: And then we had to carry Elizabeth *three blocks* back to my place because she was too wide to fit in the car.
University of Arizona
Tucson, Arizona
Drunk girl in painful-looking heels to tour group of incoming freshmen: This is your future!
Michigan State University
Girl: So Natalie Portman is speaking tonight. I want to go.
Boy: What is it about?
Girl: Poverty, but who cares? It’s Natalie Portman.
Boy: Yeah, fuck poverty, she’s hot.
University
Berkeley, California
Girl #1: It's just such a gross look, y'know? And she totally didn't have the body for it either. Total crotch octopus.
Girl #2: Crotch octopus?
Girl #1: Yeah, you know. When the fabric clings… and shows all your goodies?
Girl #2: Do you mean camel toe?
Girl #1: Yes! Right! Camel toe! I knew it had something to do with animals and appendages!
Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania
Dorky girl: I think when the sugar is visible, that's a good sign.
Sarah Lawrence
Yonkers, New York
College girl from England: Hey, whoa, are you drunk?
College girl from Prague: No! I'm Czech!
Royal Holloway University of London
England
Roommate #1, watching Celtics playoff game: Is this the final four?
Roommate #2: No.
Roommate #1: Wait, when's March Madness?
Roommate #2: Are you fucking kidding me? Die.
UMass Dartmouth, Birch Hall
Massachusetts
Overheard by: Jason
20-something trendy gangster: I'm just there for looks, you know? (pause) I'm like the sculpture of David, chiseled and beautiful.
University of Arizona
Guy, weighing himself: 176. Hmm, hold on a minute, I gotta go shit.
Guy at desk: Alright.
(5 minutes later)
Guy, weighing himself: 170. Goddamn.
Centre College
Danville, Kentucky
Human evolution professor, showing a slide of a monkey: Just look at those testicles! They're huge and pink…just…they're all in your face!
Anthropology Classroom, Kent State University
Ohio
Overheard by: Laureen
