Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.
University of Michigan
Overheard by: getout
Dumb blonde: Wait, wasn't Columbus the first president? That's why we have Columbus day!
Professor, calmly: Get out, please.
University of Michigan
Overheard by: getout
Crying girl to friend: And my paper had all these, like, negative comments on it a-a-and then she pulled me aside and compared my paper to people who take English as a second language.
Virginia Commonwealth University, Virginia
Professor, discussing King Solomon's Mines: So they find the body in the cave, and it hasn't decomposed at all. Not such a strange thing, as those of you who've ever hidden a body in a freezer will know.
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Student to friend: Just put the rape stick in the alcohol bag.
American University
Washington, DC
Professor: Sponges can regenerate from the broken pieces. If you put a sponge through a mincing machine, you just get lots of little sponges. If you put a cow through, you get mince. If you put a person through, you get arrested.
Rhodes University
South Africa
Overheard by: Amused Zoology Student
Professor, on last day of lecture: You are all pregnant.
(students awkwardly looking around and extremely uncomfortable)
Professor: …with your futures.
University of Wisconsin
Dude, with narrowed eyes: I know your kind. I bet you're sticky.
High School
Englewood, Colorado
Girl #1: We have to deal with it for nine months!
Girl #2: At least we get to be bitches for no reason.
Girl #1: Yeah, my boyfriend's basically a slave.
University of Michigan
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: …I knew it!
Girl #1: What is meant to be will always find its way.
Girl #2: Oh, don't give me that crap right now!
UCLA, California
Overheard by: Mallory
Girl: Oh, I'm doing Zumba today at five.
Guy: What's Zumba? Can I do Zumba?
Girl: Well…you can.
Guy: I can?
Girl: Yeah, it's not like there's a sign that says “No penises allowed.”
Guy: But “no penises” is implied.
University of Miami
Florida
