Colleges & Universities

Women studies professor, waving arms: We all have the same vaginas!
Student: I love this class.

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Tri

Sober sorostitute with heavy smoker's voice: Like o-m-g, I just decided on my Halloween costume!
Drunk sorostitute, stamping feet: Oh my god! What?! What what what?
Sober sorostitute: Wait for it…wait for it… Little ho peep!
Drunk sorostitute: Can we have sex with the little ho sheep?

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: Disgusted

Student on phone: Did you know doctors get fifty percent off of Domino's pizzas?

University of Sussex Campus
England

Overheard by: Zaney

Film GTA: Will Farrell is the Groucho Marx of our generation.
Student: (nods wearily)
Film GTA: I mean, Talladega Nights was absolute genius!

University of Kansas
Lawrence, Kansas

Teacher, setting up overhead: Okay, I'm going to turn off the lights. Keep your hands to yourself.

High School
Tucson, Arizona

Overheard by: Always got groped during her tests

Toolish guy: I don't believe that single consonants should be legitimate prepositions.

Dorm, Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Mary Cait

Coed: I like your bladder.

USC
Los Angeles, California

Student #1, pointing to answer on a map quiz: Why did I get this wrong?
Student #2: That's Canada, you labeled it the USA.
Student #1: But we own them, the professor said so.
Student #2: Figuratively.
Student #1: Well, that's misinforming!

Cafe, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio

Professor: So does anyone know what the word “matrix” means in Latin?
(silence)
Professor: Well it means “womb.” Now, why might that be? Let's think about it…I mean, I guess a womb is a pretty good place to put…things.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Freshman, walking down hallway with friend: Dude, this hallway smells like the pussy I ate last night.

High School
West Bloomfield, Michigan