Colleges & Universities

Coed: I like your bladder.

USC
Los Angeles, California

Student #1, pointing to answer on a map quiz: Why did I get this wrong?
Student #2: That's Canada, you labeled it the USA.
Student #1: But we own them, the professor said so.
Student #2: Figuratively.
Student #1: Well, that's misinforming!

Cafe, Kent State University
Kent, Ohio

Professor: So does anyone know what the word “matrix” means in Latin?
(silence)
Professor: Well it means “womb.” Now, why might that be? Let's think about it…I mean, I guess a womb is a pretty good place to put…things.

George Mason University
Fairfax, Virginia

Freshman, walking down hallway with friend: Dude, this hallway smells like the pussy I ate last night.

High School
West Bloomfield, Michigan

Student to friend: So I said, “Dude! You're the one inside the metal box!”

Harvard University Campus
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: CT girl

Drunk guy walking past mirror: Man, sometimes I see myself, and I make myself horny.

Hanover College
Hanover, Indiana

Overheard by: Whitney

Girl to guy she just met: My mom found out I had been having anal sex. She kept repeating “that's an exit, not an entrance.” I told her how much fun it was, and that she should try it.

University of Oregon

Tall blonde dude: If only she wasn't a butch lesbian, we would be so perfect for each other.
Petite blonde: You need to start thinking outside of those boundaries.

Juniata College
Huntingdon, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: I agree

Guy #1: (mumbles)
Guy #2: Well, maybe you need to be more white.
Guy #1: What are you talking about? I'm Mexican, you're white!
(pause)
Guy #2: Dude, you would make the best politician.

Bathroom, UC Santa Cruz
California

Gender studies professor: Some people are better at oral than others…

College
Los Angeles, California