Nice Kevlar Shirt, by the Way

Dude: That guy totally has a gun.
Chick (offended): Just because he has sunglasses doesn't mean he has a gun!

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on July 29, 2015
Chicks, Clothes, Colorado, Default, Guys, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Violence

I Suppose the Holes in the Balls Are Also Off Limits?

Vice principal: Listen up, everyone! The rules of the school also apply at the bowling alley. If you smoke, drink, or do drugs, we will call the cops. If you break anything, you will have to pay. If you hump the ball machine for the sake of irony, you will be sent home. That means you, Aaron*!
Aaron*: Aw, man!

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on July 23, 2015
Colorado, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drugs, Guys, Money, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Smoking, Students, Teachers, Threats

I Hope I Get a Piece with Hair!

Chick #1: Do you want some peanut M&Ms?
Chick #2: No, thanks.
Chick #1: They touched my crotch.
Chick #2: In that case, sure!

High School Bus
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Julia

Posted on July 22, 2015
Bus, Candy, Chicks, Colorado, Offers and requests, Vagina, Weirdness, Wishes

The Baby Doesn't Understand You, Derek.

Dude, with narrowed eyes: I know your kind. I bet you're sticky.

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on July 20, 2015
Character, Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Sensory experiences, Stoners, Weirdness

I Smell an MTV Reality Show!

Chick to others, holding up picture: What about this guy?
Male vice principal, walking by: I'd hit that.

Englewood, Colorado

Posted on July 7, 2015
Colorado, Default, Girls, Guys, Questions, Sex, Sexuality

Do Us Both A Favor and Just Roll Me Into Traffic

Guy on wheelchair to person standing next to him: I've never really been into downers.

Outside Mayan theatre
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Astrid

Posted on July 6, 2015
Colorado, Default, Feelings, Guys, Weirdness

Dating MacGyver Scars You for Life

Chick to friend: Oh, yeah, this doesn’t look suspicious. A taco wrapped in a Dollar Tree bag, a baby, and a grill lighter.

16th Street Mall
Denver, Colorado

Posted on July 6, 2015
Colorado, Default, Fears, Feelings, Food, Friends, Girls, Malls

Stupid SPCA

20-something to another: If you want to sacrifice a horse, do it in your backyard.

Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado

Posted on July 5, 2015
Advice, Animals, Colorado, Guys, Murder

I Was Going to Say, “Masturbate to Climax”

History prof: Benjamin Harrison was a pretty boring guy, with all the personality of a statue…I’m sure he couldn’t even…
[Class snickers.]History prof: Oh god, you fricken teenagers, you drag everything into the gutter!

Colorado University
Boulder, Colorado

Posted on July 1, 2015
Age and ageing, Class, Colorado, Education, Gripes, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Teens

You Have to Put Balls in a Lot Of Faces Before Your Find Someone Who Likes It

13-year-old boy in pool: Guys, let's play water Pokemon!
Friends: Okay!
13-year-old boy: I'll be Scuba Scott. Scuba Scott uses ball-to-face! (hits friend in face with ball)
Friend: Owwww! Scott, why'd you do that?!
13-year-old boy: It's super-effective!

Recreation Center Pool
Colorado

Posted on June 23, 2015
Colorado, Friends, Pop culture, Violence, Weirdness