Colorado

Stupid SPCA

20-something to another: If you want to sacrifice a horse, do it in your backyard.

Metro State College of Denver
Denver, Colorado

Posted on July 5, 2015
Advice, Animals, Colorado, Guys, Murder

I Was Going to Say, “Masturbate to Climax”

History prof: Benjamin Harrison was a pretty boring guy, with all the personality of a statue…I’m sure he couldn’t even…
[Class snickers.]History prof: Oh god, you fricken teenagers, you drag everything into the gutter!

Colorado University
Boulder, Colorado

Posted on July 1, 2015
Age and ageing, Class, Colorado, Education, Gripes, Sexuality, Students, Teachers, Teens

You Have to Put Balls in a Lot Of Faces Before Your Find Someone Who Likes It

13-year-old boy in pool: Guys, let's play water Pokemon!
Friends: Okay!
13-year-old boy: I'll be Scuba Scott. Scuba Scott uses ball-to-face! (hits friend in face with ball)
Friend: Owwww! Scott, why'd you do that?!
13-year-old boy: It's super-effective!

Recreation Center Pool
Colorado

Posted on June 23, 2015
Colorado, Friends, Pop culture, Violence, Weirdness

It’s No Country for Old Women, Either

Middle aged woman to another: It’s not the hot flashes that are so bad… It’s the depression.

BeauJo’s
Ft. Collins, Colorado

Overheard by: always listening

Posted on June 21, 2015
Age and ageing, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Friends, Happiness, Ladies who lunch, Mental illnesses, Restaurants, Women

Oh, Leave Pippi Longstocking Alone.

Sister: I fucking hate her.
Brother: Why? Because she's getting more action than you or because she's corrupting our youth?

Denver, Colorado

Posted on June 17, 2015
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, Girls, Guys, Questions, Siblings

Piano: “I Had Poison Ivy!”

Girl, bitching to friend: She was scratching my piano! I wanted to throw her down the stairs!

Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Soko

Posted on June 13, 2015
Colorado, Friends, Girls, Gripes, Violence, Wishes

And That's the Last Time We'll Discuss This, Dad.

Sorority girl to another: All I'm saying is that it would be a lot better at home if you used less tongue.

CU
Boulder, Colorado

Posted on June 10, 2015
Advice, Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Colorado, Compare and contrast, Licking, Sorority types

…As General Custer Clearly Stated at the Time.

Student: But why would someone do that?
Teacher: For the LOLs.

High School
Englewood, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on May 31, 2015
Colorado, Education, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Teachers, Words

Mary Lou Gets Another Merit Badge

Chick #1: No sex, just rimming.
Chick #2: Great!

Denver, Colorado

Posted on November 30, 2014
Colorado, Default, Girls, Kink, Sex

Beats a Cat in a Hat and a Big Red Dog

Chick: I should write children's books based on those stories: the volleyball girl with bad luck, and the girl with the feet of a black man.

Highlands Ranch, Colorado

Overheard by: Lee

Posted on November 29, 2014
Books, Chicks, Colorado, Default, Race, Weirdness