Compare and contrast

Teen girl: Have you noticed that he's getting gayer by the minute? I swear he's getting gayer and gayer–and his eyebrows are getting smaller and smaller.
Teen guy: Ah, yes. The all too telling gay-to-eyebrow ratio…

Olympia, Washington

Overheard by: ninita

Hipster to friends: They have really cool songs, 'cause you can, like, listen to them.
Hipster friends: (nod and mutter in agreement)

Corner Brook
Newfoundland
Canadia

PSU freshman (attempting to flirt): Wow, that’s an amazing accent! Is it British?
Cute freshman who says Rs like Ws: Actually, it’s a speech impediment.

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2008/04/library-flirting.html

Overheard by: ellen

Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, you're going to have to hang up your phone and run it through the machine.
20-something girl intern: But I'm not a terrorist, and I'm on an important call. Can't I just walk through?
Sweet-ass security guard: Miss, that would be like Timothy McVeigh driving up and asking “hey, can I park my car here?”

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2008/08/insert-inappropriate-terrorism-joke.html

Overheard by: Ian

Girl #1: I'm having the worst day today.
Girl #2: Yeah, it's a good thing I had sex yesterday. Otherwise, today would just be hell.

Seattle, Washington

Queer #1: Ugh. All I know is that pussy smells like ass. I tried once in high school, and I was all, ‘Oooh, that smells like ass!’ and so I tried one more time, and it still smelled like ass.
Queer #2: Well, we know one thing for sure — your ass must smell like pussy.

Cleo’s, Chicago Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: EEE

Grandmother, about tantrum-throwing child: I think it might be time to put her to sleep.
Mother: Yeah. Come on honey, we'll go home and have a nap!
Grandmother, under her breath: That's not what I meant.

Westfield Shopping Center
South Morang
Australia

Jesuits: Eeexcellent…!

Girl to another: She pulls the virgin card all the time, but she's such a slut.

North Dakota State University

Overheard by: Chelsea

Girl: So I had a realistic dream last night.
Guy (uninterested): Uh-huh.
Girl: I had anal sex in the dream. But I've never had anal sex before. But it seemed realistic.
Guy (uninterested): Hmm.
Girl: So now I need to have anal sex to see if it was like in my dream.
Guy (suddenly interested): Yeah?

Kansas City, Missouri

Overheard by: Sarah

Red-headed friend to blonde friend: If I had a special power it would be to fly!
Blonde friend, seriously: If I had a special power I would have a microwave in my mouth so that I could cook anything I wanted, whenever I wanted.
Red-headed friend: You could never get salmonella again!
Blonde friend: I know, right? It's my best idea yet!

Canada's Wonderland
Toronto
Canadia