I Couldn't Help It– I Kept Shining a Strobe Light on Him.

College girl to three friends, completely serious: Yeah, I guess his penis had epilepsy or something.

College Dining Hall
Pennsylvania

Posted on September 3, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Maladies, Penis, Pennsylvania, Students, Weirdness

When College Early Admission Goes Too Far

Psychology professor, discussing babies: If this thing didn't smile, it would be in the trash.

Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey

Posted on August 25, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Default, Feelings, New Jersey, Teachers, Weirdness

The Episode Of MacGuyver I'd Pay to See

Weird lady getting her hair cut: The nail just wouldn't stay down on my toe. So because it was all loose, junk kept getting in there. The doctor basically told me that junk would just keep getting in there.
Stylist: Wow!
(a minute later)
Weird lady getting her hair cut: If I could have one of those guys do my wedding, I'd be all like, “here's a doily and a paper cup, see what you can do.”
Stylist: Yeah.
Weird lady getting her hair cut: I mean if you can't have a bangin wedding in Puerto Rico, you might as well see what you can get from a doily and a paper cup here.
Stylist: Yeah.

Supercuts
Pennsylvania

Posted on August 24, 2020
Body parts, Clients, Compare and contrast, Employees, Health & Hygiene, Pennsylvania, Relationships

Me and My Cocaine Fork Will Be Just Fine

Girl: But I’m graduating soon, so I don’t need spoons anymore!

Montclair State University
New Jersey

Posted on August 20, 2020
Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Druggies, Drugs, Education, Girls, New Jersey, Sorority types, Students

Marijuana Wouldn't Be Any Fun Without It.

History professor: In New York the exit signs are red. They're like, “Fire! Get out!” In California the exit signs are green. They're like, “Dude, if you wanna get out, cool. If you like fire, if that's your thing, that's okay, too.”

Aurora, Illinois