Girl: It's not “oh, I got laid underwater.” It's that I got to know the person and got close to them before I went underwater.
Psychology Class
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
Girl: It's not “oh, I got laid underwater.” It's that I got to know the person and got close to them before I went underwater.
Psychology Class
University of Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Emily
Teen girl to friend: I'm too sexy for my vulva.
Tulsa, Oklahoma
Guy to friend: And then she said, “I am not even half the man she used to be.”
Oxford
England
Overheard by: Well, she WAS born in Germany
College girl to three friends, completely serious: Yeah, I guess his penis had epilepsy or something.
College Dining Hall
Pennsylvania
Psychology professor, discussing babies: If this thing didn't smile, it would be in the trash.
Rutgers University
New Brunswick, New Jersey
Weird lady getting her hair cut: The nail just wouldn't stay down on my toe. So because it was all loose, junk kept getting in there. The doctor basically told me that junk would just keep getting in there.
Stylist: Wow!
(a minute later)
Weird lady getting her hair cut: If I could have one of those guys do my wedding, I'd be all like, “here's a doily and a paper cup, see what you can do.”
Stylist: Yeah.
Weird lady getting her hair cut: I mean if you can't have a bangin wedding in Puerto Rico, you might as well see what you can get from a doily and a paper cup here.
Stylist: Yeah.
Supercuts
Pennsylvania
Girl: But I’m graduating soon, so I don’t need spoons anymore!
Montclair State University
New Jersey
History professor: In New York the exit signs are red. They're like, “Fire! Get out!” In California the exit signs are green. They're like, “Dude, if you wanna get out, cool. If you like fire, if that's your thing, that's okay, too.”
Aurora, Illinois
Morbidly obese man: It’s like when you go dumpster-diving and find a whole bedroom set.
Wal-Mart
Gainesville, Florida
Overheard by: Andrea
Professor: The Government was spending money like a drunken sailor in a Tijuana whorehouse.
Macroeconomics Class
University of California
Overheard by: Econometrically Bored
