What Trendy Nightclubs Are Like, in Bizarro World

Crazy blonde lady on park bench: Because they're all about gluttony. Plus, it's harder for them to get in if you're thin, because they're usually fat, you know? (two heavy ladies next to her nod)

Judiciary Square
Washington, DC

Posted on July 16, 2020
Compare and contrast, Crazies, Diet & weight, Washington, DC, Women

Is That by Herbal Essences?

Bottle blonde: Oh my god, you have to tell me where you got your color done!
Natural blonde gentleman: Bitch, this comes from Adonis genes gifted from on high.

Tampa, Florida

Overheard by: Dr. Iniego Strangelove

Posted on July 16, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Euphemisms, Florida, Girls, Guys, Insults, Offers and requests, Science

It's Either One or the Other, These Days.

Blonde guy: And it burned the whole way down! I think my esophagus hemorrhaged.
Skinny guy: Hey, at least you didn't eat nine bowls of pudding.

Kansas State University

Overheard by: Michele

Posted on July 15, 2020
Body parts, Colleges & Universities, Compare and contrast, Food, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Kansas, Skinny people

Drugging Miss Daisy

Old white lady, leaving table with a flourish: Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to the bathroom to shoot up.

Lemongrass
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Loves Her Some Thai Food

Posted on July 14, 2020
Age and ageing, Compare and contrast, Drugs, Etiquette, Ladies who lunch, Maryland, Restaurants, Weirdness, Wishes, Words

Typhoid Mary Was Also an Avid Bowler

Woman at table dining with friend: I mean, I love infectious diseases, don’t get me wrong, but that’s not my life.

Red Restaurant
Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: kyndgrrl

Posted on July 9, 2020
Compare and contrast, Feelings, Friends, Health & Hygiene, Ladies who lunch, Maladies, Restaurants, Tennessee, Threats, Weirdness

And That Was the Extent of My “Birds and Bees” Talk

Mom holding two tomatoes stuck together: Look, tomato twins!
Daughter: Oh my god! I love them!
Mom: They look like balls! [Laughs] Boy balls! [Walks away].
Daughter: Oh my god.

Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Kelsey

Posted on July 5, 2020
Compare and contrast, Default, Fruit, Girls, Gripes, Missouri, Moms

And Did They Have to Name It “The Meow Clinic”?

20-something woman #1: Oh look, it's a hospital for cats.
20-something woman #2: Yeah, I know. Every time someone goes in there, I judge them like, “ew, a cat person!”

Brookline, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Cat Person

Posted on July 5, 2020
Animals, Compare and contrast, Default, Health & Hygiene, Massachusetts, Women

I'm Still Not Having Your Baby, Curtis

Large black male student to tiny white female student: Stretch marks are awesome! They make you look like a tiger! (makes tiger claw gesture) Raaar!

High School
Lincoln Park, Michigan

Overheard by: The teacher

Posted on July 4, 2020
Animals, Black people, Compare and contrast, Fat people, Health & Hygiene, Michigan, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Students, Whiteys

Is He Talking About Vagina? Discuss.

Little boy to mother: Mommy, it smells like eating wieners… right?

Walgreens Parking Lot
Port Chester, New York

Overheard by: Ldawg

Posted on July 4, 2020
Compare and contrast, Food, Kids, Moms, New York, Parenting, Questions, Sexuality

The Thin Line Between Martha Stewart and MTV Backup Dancers

Restaurant server on smoke break: How were the ladies at the bar?
Drunk man: Those bitches were hot. And I mean “bitches” in the best possible way.
Server: When I say “bitches,” I mean “hoes.”

Plano, Texas

Posted on July 1, 2020
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Customers, Default, Drunks, Geography, Guys, Questions, Servers, Texas, Words

Compare and contrast