Chipper girl: I tell the sex workers that they can wear the female condom before going out. You can wear it for, like, three hours. They are kind of loud, though — they crinkle! Sex is awkward, anyway.
Women’s health class, American University
Washington, DC
Overheard by: aimc
Guy on cell at register: I know! I know! So listen — when you first meet him, go up to him, bow, whip your own chopsticks, and tell him you would like to procreate with him.
Dick’s Sporting Goods
Fairfax, Virginia
Overheard by: Cashier who needed the laugh
Very attractive man dressed in suit: It's like, Gino, put on the right skirt and shoes and talk to the concierge for awhile…
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Kassie
Girl #1: Well, today wasn't a total loss, I did find my outfit for tomorrow.
Girl #2: True. By the way, what's tomorrow?
Girl #1: Uh, Thursday. You mean like the date?
Girl #2: No, I mean: what's the occasion for the outfit?
Girl #1: Oh, right! Thursday.
Dulles Town Center
Loudoun County, Virginia
Professor: It must seem like I'm beating you over the head with a frozen chicken breast.
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Young buck #1: Do you want to go out to the track and race?
Young buck #2: I'm not fond of dust baths.
Monroe Community College
Rochester, New York
Professor, discussing an 18th century painting: Now, it is important to remember that at this time women did not wear panties. This is a beaver shot par excellence!
San José State University
California
Girl, looking at Overheard on her tablet: Oh my god! Did you do this?!
Guilty friend sitting next to her: Oh, shit.
Girl, tapping screen: Did you do this?
Guilty friend: I put it on Facebook first! That's full disclosure!
BART Train
Oakland, California
Teacher: See, adjectives are boring old turtles.
Students: Uhhh.
Teacher: But participles are like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles!
Marshall High School
Virginia
Overheard by: amused student….
