Default

Tayal tribesman bus driver: Sir, do you want to get off at this stop?
Old man: Yes, I want off at this stop, I am going to the dentist's.
Bus driver: What's wrong?
Old man: I have to have a tooth pulled. Can you believe that? I'm 82 but I still have to have a tooth pulled.
Bus driver: If you're going to have one pulled, you may as well have a bunch taken out.
Old man: That won't do, false teeth are expensive.
Bus driver: Then have boar tusks put in.
Old man: Boar tusks?
Bus driver (very earnestly): Yes, you can have two tusks put in on the lower jaw, and when they grow, they'll look great! (uses his fingers to demonstrate how the tusks would look growing out of his mouth)
Old man (laughing): It would take a long time for them to grow.
Bus driver: Not long! You're an old boar, but I'm just a young boar, so yours would grow much faster than mine!
(old man gets off bus laughing cheerfully)

http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html#4067720002953022860

Overheard by: Yugan Dali

College student: I really just wanted to reach out and touch that lady's bunny.

Wellington, New Zealand

Drunk guy: Oh my god! Everyone in this room is so ugly!

Irish Pub
Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jackie

Sorority girls playing drinking game in bedroom floor: Sarah! Drink!
Sarah: Hold on, I need to undo my pants!

Sorority House
Oxford, Mississippi

Overheard by: bootay

Professor: I have three children: 15, 13, and 7.
Female student: Oh, I don't think I could have three.
Male student: Yeah, with two you can do person-on-person defense, but with three you need zone.
professor: You have a point.

http://eavesdropdc.blogspot.com/2007/08/just-reminder-that-football-season.html

Overheard by: Ian

Middle-aged woman: What the fuck is ‘W-T-F’?

Exmouth, Devon
United Kingdom

Overheard by: Bernard

Middle aged redneck to cute four-year-old girl: You’re just as sharp as your great granddaddy! You’re gonna grow up to write about public restrooms in America!

Gas Station
Waco, Texas

Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it’s still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don’t see any; I don’t have any spit.

Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Uses spit for lube

Little boy, grabbing his crotch and jumping up and down: Gotcha! Gotcha! Gotcha!

Target
New Jersey

Overheard by: Jo

Patron #1: How are you tonight?
Patron #2: Well, I'm currently disappointed in humanity.

Bar
Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by: Projection1234